j-ex-w
It probably depends on how much natural beauty a woman has. If a woman has that, men can see it, no matter what.
S
Nosferatu's School of Dating (NSD) - Preface
by Nosferatu 18 Replies latest social relationships
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Nosferatu
It has never ceased to amaze me how many times when I THOUGHT I looked like crap--from lack of particular effort, or just going with a low ponytail and glasses (my 'lesbian' look, as my ex-husband calls it--I'm not a lesbian, BTW)--that guys were still paying unsolicited attention to me.
There are many women out there who don't even have to try hard to look attractive, because they're already naturally attractive. You may be one of those women. However, there are also many women out there that guys will completely overlook because she doesn't rate high on the natural attraction scale. These are the women who have to work harder to make themselves physically attractive, and they CAN be when they work at it.
You could easily blame men for being so closed-minded about a woman's looks, but nature has wired men to be immediately drawn to an attractive woman.
You seem very well acquainted with one the cardinal rules of expertism
I honestly have no clue what you're talking about here, but I don't think it was anything intentional.
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restrangled
What is a wingman??????
I'm reading this topic just to see how difficult and involved you're going to make it.
Women are initally attracted or they're not.
The second phase is when you open your mouth.
The third is how you behave in public and behind closed doors.
the 4th is how you treat them once in the relationship.
I would imagine its not much different for men.
r.
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Nosferatu
What is a wingman??????
A wingman is another person who helps you deliver "game", or to help "get" the woman you want to date.
Women are initally attracted or they're not.
Correct, but attraction can still go up or down. What I'm aiming for is to help raise attraction and keep it high for as long as humanly possible (even until death).
The second phase is when you open your mouth.
Agreed. Unfortunately, what is delivered from that mouth can cause a woman's attraction for a man to go down. I'm aiming to show how to prevent this from happening.
The third is how you behave in public and behind closed doors.
the 4th is how you treat them once in the relationship.
Again, I agree. I will be going through each of these steps at a fairly slow pace in order to get all the information in that I can about what can go wrong, how it goes wrong, what can go right, and how it goes right.
I would imagine its not much different for men.
You'd be surprised! If a woman is physically attractive enough, a man won't care how she acts or treats him because he's got a trophy on his arm.
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J-ex-W
Nos--- I was teasing about the 'expertism' stuff, making up my own terminology to sound high-falutin' and learn-ed. Teasing you for your vocab lesson at the beginning. All in good fun!
About the 'natural beauty' stuff----so much of that is subjective, anyway. One guy might look at a woman's face and notice bone structure while happily ignoring zits. Another guy might gag at even a few zits but really prize thick, wavy hair. Another guy might figure it all goes to pot in the end, anyway, so might as well get to know the person first and foremost. The happiest marriages/ couples I've known have in no way, shape, or form been bonded based on looks. Sounds terrible to say, but the best couplings I've seen are actually between homely individuals--with hearts of gold. Which is the best of all that we can hope to become in the end, anyway!
For pete's sake, grooming counts---but what 'look' one individual finds appealing can vary so widely from the next. That's why I recommend going light on the emphasis on grooming. Cleanliness and a good smell. And a happy, approachable demeanor. That's yer dating lesson. [applies to both male and female]
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J-ex-W
Nos---- That 'trophy' comment...applies, again, to both male and female. A pretty guy can get carte blanche for bad behavior as much as a pretty female can. SO PAY ATTENTION TO THE PERSON, NOT THE LOOKS. That should be dating tip #1 no matter who's writing and no matter who's the target audience.
Some of my best dating experiences (particularly post-JW) have gotten off the ground while purposely ignoring the looks thing. --Not so much that my tastes would roam into the obvious ICK!-factor, but certainly allowing a sliding scale that I wouldn't have really entertained before. My brother even says the funnest date he ever went on was with a girl he found a little homely at first. Looks can improve dramatically when personality wins a soft-spot in the heart.
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Abandoned
Nosferatu, I appreciate your time and this is all interesting stuff, but one of the things I hate about the whole dating thing is that it IS such a game. That's stupid. Why play games?
I'm tired of the games. I dont' care to learn how to be clever or wear down someone or any other stuff like that. I don't want a wingman and I don't want to be coached on what to say. I'm who I am and I have some pretty cool things going for me and some defects.
Please dont' think I'm knocking you as it's hard to dog men for playing games when women play them just as often. I just don't really care to attract someone who cares about the games. Somewhere there's a woman who knows she could play a game but won't. That will be the one for me.
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J-ex-W
Abandoned--- DUDE! Whereya been all my life? LOL
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Abandoned
Abandoned--- DUDE! Whereya been all my life? LOL
LOL. Where have I been? I've been chasing dreams and dead ends, fears and false friends. I've learned the difference between trust and gullibility and I've learned that whether I tell the truth or whether I lie, there will always be someone disappointed with my choice. I've learned that the people who are the most vocal about their passion for god are usually those the most devoid of both piety and divinity. And, being quite intelligent but dense as a coniferous forest owned by a far-left liberal, I've learned all these things the hard way.