Nosferatu's School of Dating - Lesson 1.4 - Happiness

by Nosferatu 23 Replies latest social relationships

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  Nosferatu

  Lesson 1.3 is here:
  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/126614/1.ashx

  I've seen countless men who seem to posess the mindset of "I need a woman to be happy". The truth is you don't NEED a woman to be truly happy, just like you didn't need the WTS to be truly happy.

  There's one analogy I always use for men who put a high amount of importance on having a woman in their lives to be "complete". A man who builds his life on the foundation of another person to bring him happiness (a woman, Jehovah) will find his life crumbling when that person is found to be faulty or flawed. However, a man who builds his life on the foundation of his OWN happiness will only have to replace a few bricks when he finds people in his life to be flawed.

  I can't tell you how many people's lives I've seen come crashing down, either from the breakup of a relationship, or from finding the WTS to be a huge lie. A person (or persons) should add to our existing happiness, not be the source of it. However, if that person is taking away from our existing happiness, that person should be removed from our lives.

  If you make it a goal to live this analogy, you will no longer have to fear being abandoned by a woman. You will know that nobody else except YOU YOURSELF are the sole reason for living.
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  carla

  men who seem to posess the mindset of "I need a woman to be happy-- Are you kidding? The only ones I know like that are the old guys who need a woman to remind them to take their pills on time.
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  zensim

  Nosferatu - I love the sharing of your insights and the beautiful way you convey your experience and meaning. However, I do believe that everything you say is equally as true for women, especially in this thread.

  I think people often get confused between gender differences, personality differences and mix them all up with the basic human needs of each and everyone of us. All of us share the same emotions and the same needs, what only differs is the way we choose to have these needs met.
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  Nosferatu

  men who seem to posess the mindset of "I need a woman to be happy-- Are you kidding?

  Unfortunately, I'm not kidding.

  Take some time to listen to most love songs written and sang by men. A good example: "I want you, I need you, I love you" by Elvis Presley. Stuff like this has given men the mindset of needing a woman to live life happy and complete.
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  Nosferatu

  However, I do believe that everything you say is equally as true for women, especially in this thread.

  That may be true, but I'm not a woman, and I'm not really aiming at a female audience. However, feel free to use my analogy
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  zensim

  Unless you are gay - of course you are aiming at a female audience! And all your advice only 'works' based on whether or not you get a positive response. So some of your male audience may appreciate the feedback of women - positive or not - based on the type of woman they are trying to attract.

  Your lessons are limited to your own life experience and your own emotional intelligence. So what works for you will be limited to what your current needs are and how to meet them. By no means am I saying you are limited - just that we all continue to grow and learn and, as we grow our needs respectively change.

  Most of what you say is very true and will work for the larger majority of women and I personally have no problems with it (I am not offended or think it is 'wrong'). So for a guy that is inexperienced (and that is your target audience I gather, from your initial postings on this subject) what you have to say has value. It is by no means the last say on it though. I guess what I am trying to say is that there is a world of difference between getting a woman and keeping her.
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  Nosferatu

  I guess what I am trying to say is that there is a world of difference between getting a woman and keeping her.

  And I agree. After a while, getting a woman becomes relatively easy. However, keeping her is the ultimate challenge.
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  Wendy_Warden

  I've seen countless men who seem to posess the mindset of "I need a woman to be happy". The truth is you don't NEED a woman to be truly happy, just like you didn't need the WTS to be truly happy.

  Actually, my BF doesn't need me to be happy either. i think that confidence was something that drew me to him. It's also flattering to know that he is chosing to be with me and not desparatly pawing for my attention.

  Wendy
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  J-ex-W

  Now here is advice I can get on board with. And add, It applies equally well to males and females. And intersexed. (You know who you are.) :^)
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  GentlyFeral

  Nosferatu,

  Take some time to listen to most love songs written and sang by men. A good example: "I want you, I need you, I love you" by Elvis Presley. Stuff like this has given men the mindset of needing a woman to live life happy and complete.

  I dunno, somehow most of that stuff seemed highly artificial to me -- words put in men's mouths to fulfill the fantasies of (young) women.

  gently feral