Socially Stunted?...you betcha. (page 2)

Balsam

I came into the witness as a young woman at age 20 along with my husband who was then 24. We had no experience simular to the JW experience and we found the JW experience all the years we were in as a little on the bizarre side at times. People's social reactions to say dealing with people who were non-witnesses. I stayed in 30 years raising my sons in it but always trying to help them have a little different view then was typical of other witness kids. For instance we let our kids play with other kids in the neighborhood who were not in the religion.

Well now I'm out and bought my two sons with me and left their Dad in it I can see how my sons were profoundly affected anyway. Both tend to be people pleasers, and have had to struggle to express themselves freely. Then when they did they totally went the other way going way overboard. The religion had very damaging affects on their mental and emotional development much worse than I ever imagined. Fortunately they are gradually coming back to a more balanced view of life and people but it has been a terrible stuggle for them. I'm very proud of their efforts to find normalcy when their Dad and I failed miserably in teaching them such.

I returned to so called normalcy pretty easy within about 18 months. But for those raised in it I can see it takes years. I hate I ever allowed myself to be caught up in the cultish behavior of the group.

Ruth

MeneMene

Yes, very much so. I have always been timid in a way so being raised a JW and forced to go d2d, give talks, & comment at WT study was always torture. Although I was mentally independent, at the same time I was shy & timid. Not sure that makes sense but I have always just felt really screwed up. I could never allow myself to depend on anyone else - always had to be able to take care of myself. I always had a lack of trust of people and had a hard time letting anyone get really close. When I did, I was always disappointed. I subconsiously put up walls and keep people at a distance. Even now in my late 50s I feel like a loner. They have a singles group here in the new community I'm in but I haven't gotten up the nerve to go. I don't like to go somewhere new by myself so here I sit. - - - As far as family goes they only shunned me for about a year one time when I was living w/ a boyfriend. Once we broke up they spoke to me again. So now I pretty much avoid them cause I feel they don't really like me. I am the same person I was when he was around & they showed me what they really thought of me with the shunning. [They never shunned my sisters that did the same thing.] - - - I just don't know how much is genes and how much is WTS.

Jin

I too was born in the borg and yes it has taken me nearly ten years to get better at talking to people, making new friends, issues of trust, being judgemental( i hope you know what i mean) having a very low self esteem etc.

Believing in yourself is a good start, learn as much as you can and be happy with who you are.

Thats my bit, you'll be alright

Jin

becca1

Yes and no. Being raised in the truth, being an only child and having parents that were witness fantics affected my social skills greatly as a child. However once I was allowed to go back to regular school (7th grade), though I went through an awkward period of adjustment, I got the hang of it pretty soon. I attribute this to having a naturally outgoing personality and also to being in tune with other people's feelings. If I had been naturally introverted and detached I may not have faired so well.

Lumptard

Thanks for all of the comments!...Being someone who is naturally introverted, I'm sure that the effects of JW conditionioning are magnified...It just seems like when you're away from it, there is a lingering sense that someone is always "out to get you".

OUTLAW

Just because your paranoid,dosen`t mean someone isn`t out to get you...OUTLAW

Amber Rose

In the past I have found myself trying not to make friends, not wanting to get too friendly with anyone for fear that they may invite me to a bar or to a holiday party or some other “worldly” normal activity and then I would have to awkwardly decline. As for witness friends I never had very many. I think they were always slightly wary of me because my dad was not an elder (or even baptized). I think they weren't sure if I would be considered “wholesome association”. Now that I am halfway out I am trying to get over all of that but I just don't know where to find friends. I have considered going to some church, but what if someone sees me! Being here helps. It really is a shame how much this religion hurts its members in so many ways.

Socially Stunted?...you betcha.