I was baptised in a Freewill Baptist church about 15 years ago, and then I became a witness and was baptised about 11 years ago. What my experience has taught me having delved deeply in both (served as a servant and later an elder in WTS) is that I don't really believe that there is a God. Why won't he answer me? I have had VERY sincere prayers, called him by Jesus, God, Jehovah - I have even looked helplessly up at the stars and begged "whoever created all that I see" to let me get to know him, etc. I have asked for a sign, asked for peace of mind that he exists, and begged sincerely that he reveal his existence to me in some way, shape, or form... Nada... No response, no reply, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing but dead air. Isn't the very definition of insanity to do the same thing over and over again (pray) and yet expect different results? How about this quote from another thread:
Like I said, I know Jesus. Not in some far off wish you were there kinda way, or believe it and it might happen. I talk to Him, and He answers. I'm not the only one either. So I guess you have it this way, either there are a whole bunch of liars out there who preach against lying, or there may actually be a person who we all claim to know personally.
What am I to make of all of my efforts to communicate with God, to talk to him as a friend, a heavenly father? Am I a total loser who God just doesn't have time for? Am I going about it all wrong - I have knelt down, bowed my head, begged and pleaded for faith that he exists - all to no avail. I have read the Living Bible, King James Version, and NWT all extensively. What is different about me and the guy in the above quote? What gives? How do I get the same conviction that this person has? Why is the only logical conlusion that I can reach is that religion is the opium of the human mind, and merely a way to explain our existence and give ourselves comfort and peace of mind about the things we cannot explain as well as comfort at death?