What do you single guys do?

by frozen one 15 Replies latest social relationships

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  frozen one

  Do any other single guys here experience this? I can go for months without meeting one woman of interest. Then suddenly women start coming out of the wood work. After a long dry spell, during the last week I have met three women. All three of them gave me their phone numbers without me asking. All three of them, and this is a benefit of being single at my age that I am coming to appreciate, are educated career women and have what sounds like nice lives. Two of the three have grown children that are out of the house. They range in ages from the mid-30's to late 40's and have been divorced for years.

  In the past what I had always done was pick one for the most superficial reasons and focus on seeing where things would go thinking anyone else I had met would be around later. That's really laughable looking back at it. Then I decided that there is nothing wrong with causually dating more then one person if need be just to find out more about them before getting too involved. This works fine until invariably they find out about each other and stop taking phone calls.

  So what do you guys do? Take your best guess and toss the other numbers? See more than one at a time and run the risk of being branded a player? Is there a third way? What do the ladies on this board think?

  Frozen One - who prefers to wreck havoc and drive women to lesbianism one at a time, not in groups.
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  JWdaughter

  Could you just meet for something very casual, no expectations, easy that doesn't require new clothes, outlays of money or kissing? Like coffee to see if you even like the woman enough to 'date' her? Often times there will be a 'fatal' aspect to the other person as they relate to you that will rule them out. Listening to them describe how they feel about their lives, kids, exes. . .sometimes that can be a REAL eye opener and it only requires an hour or so and the cost of a latte. They might at that time decide against you also, which would help narrow down the list. Just my two cents worth (I am cheap and thats probably all its worth!)
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  purplesofa

  Same thing happens to women..........Feast or Famine.

  I would not get rid of any of the phone numbers......check them all out.

  purps
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  SPAZnik

  What would you want a woman to do if she were scoping out a few prospects one of whom was yourself?
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  zagor

  lol that was funny but it is ture. But I guess it has lots to do with your own state of mind, which then reflects on the outside as well. Since I've stared doing job for this new company I've had all sorts of people coming "coming out of woods", or like this morning sorta like by accident call you when she wanted to call a girlfreind I don't know, I was never able to date few person at the same time.
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  wozadummy

  Maybe it's like houses in your suburb ,every now and then the same houses go up for sale having been used for a while ,and because the same type of people populate them all the time they come back on the market again
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  serendipity

  I'm going to assume that you know what you want in a relationship and what kind of woman you're interested in. With that being said, I agree with the others. You can keep things casual and go for coffee with all three of them. See where they've been and ask them where they're going with their lives. Once you spend an hour with each, your choice may be easy.
  
  If you continue dating more than one of them, just be upfront about it. The women may be dating others as well. You'll have to decide if that's acceptable to you.
  
  Good luck!
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  zagor

  I think still you have to be careful with how you go there, you shouldn't really play with someone's feelings if you're not serious about them, you probably wouldn't want anyone else doing that to you either. Just because many women are expressing interests in you doesn't mean you have to take advantage of that. They may well be thinking they are the only ones so as seredipety says you should be honest and open with them after first date. I've had a mate who used to jump from one date to another thinking how great a life he was living. He finally got married to someone who started doing that to him, after wedding bells stoped ringing. I guess one gets what one seeks sometimes.
  
  You really have to know yourself, because if you don't yet, my friendly advice is not to go into commited relationship. I work with many ladies on daily basis and as I already mentioned of course every now and then someone would try to approach you. Which is fine, people are always interested in people around them. But if you start going down the path of a serious relationship, you have to know your boundries or any sort of serious realtionship is not for you yet. I've met someone several months ago, someone very dear, believe or not I haven't look into anther lady after that. Strange? I don't think so.
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  J-ex-W

  I agree with the first response--see all three, but go slow. I also add: Be up front with each woman that you're just being at the stage of getting to knowa few different people, dipping your toes into the dating pool. And take it slow. Use the time to decide if this is someone you think you could want a long term connection with. And when you reach a point where you like one well enough to see her exclusively, then is the time to introduce more 'physical' contact (including kissing). No sooner. You won't be branded a player if you're giving each woman honesty and respect.
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  Country Girl

  Be up front that you'd just like to be friends and just go out with all of them and have fun! Tell them you are just single and having fun -- they know what that means. When you find one you'd like to get more serious with, then tell the other ones. Just be honest.

  CG