How Dysfunctional A Witness Were You?

minimus

Reading posters' comments help me to see that since leaving "The Organization", many have gotten emotionally better. Of course, you don't have to be a Witness to have dysfunction but feeling the pressure of always being told that we are inferior, that we're not doing enough, can get to the best of us! Looking back, how dysfunctional were you???

OUTLAW

Most JW`s aren`t datfunctional..Dat`s what makes dem Dysfuctional...OUTLAW

lovelylil

Our family was actually considered one of the few "normal" and "well balanced" ones in the KH. That is because we were surrounded by child abusers, alchohlics, wife beaters, drug addicts and much more. I am not kidding, any kind of dysfunction you can think of we had it in one hall we were in. But as for our family, I did suffer from depression and so did my daughter who was only 12 at the time. Also towards the end my hubby and I had some very fierce fights about the Witnesses, governing body, elders, etc. We argued a lot and unfortunately my home is small and the kids heard it all. Thankfully we are all now out and our family gets better each day.

One thing both my hubby and I have been constantly trying to work on is not to come down too hard on the kids for exhibuting behaviors that are quite normal for thier age group. I have a pre-teen and a teen so they can get a bit "back talky" if you guys know what I mean. In the jdubs we would have come down extremely hard believing the kids everlasting lives would be at stake if they continued the wrong behavior but now we understand that "to a point" it is normal for them to do this. We still discipline them but are not that harsh. BTW my hubby used to preach to the kids all the time about Satan just waiting to lead them away to be destroyed. I can imagine what nightmares the kids must of had.

So the point of all this is this: even though we were considered somewhat "normal' just being a JW is anything but normal and there will be some underlying dysfunction there. But all in all we were definately not the most dysfunctional. Lilly

minimus

Yeah, I think we're all dsfunctional, even if just a little bit.

Finally-Free

My family was dysfunctional long before we ever heard of the JWs. I suspect that's why it was easy for my mom and myself to join the cult in the hopes of finding something better than what we had. In spite of my family's dysfunction, we were still there for one another when times got tough. That's where the congregation was different. They seemed to take delight in gossiping about each other, and laughing at other JWs who had to endure hardships. It was a real eye opener for me.

I'm probably more dysfunctional and socially challenged now than before. After associating almost exclusively with the JWs for 20 years I find it difficult to trust anyone now.

W

minimus

It takes time to begin trusting people, especially if you've been crapped on in the past. But I do think that most persons are decent. I try to stay away from those that will typically give me problems. I don't need other people's stupid aggravations.

Country Girl

Minimus:

Being raised up in the religion, of couse I was dysfunctional. That goes without saying. However, I don't know that Witnesses were any more dysfunctional than the kids that came to school with drug, sexual, alcohol, etc. abuse history. It all boils down to the same thing, in the end. It's all abuse. I knew Witness kids that didn't have any kind of abuse and they were worse off than the kids that DID.

It seems it all just boils down to the individual person, like it always does, religious abuse or not.

CG

minimus

CG, you must admit that being a JW doesn't help.

steve2

I think human beings in general are "dysfunctional" to some extent, and that it's a combination of personality variables, learning and the environment that either exacerbates or reduces the dysfunction.

Anyway, back to your question: For several years, I was clinically depressed as a Witness. I have no doubt that, had I not left, I would have kept engaging in suicidal behaviour and maybe eventually have succeeded.

I should say that I don't think mental health problems are unique to JWs, nor do I believe that the watchtower "causes" those sorts of problems. It's just not a very supportive environment for people who are depressed and, at its worst, the organization makes the depression even worse.

minimus

The point is--------being a Witness does NOT help a person who's depressed, suicidal or confused. Only after they get out might they feel better.

How Dysfunctional A Witness Were You?

Share this