So tired...I feel like less than a sparrow (me) (page 2)

TheListener

Welcome Jamie.

You need to take care of yourself. Perhaps a professional counselor can help you get through this time in your life.

If you really want to go back to meetings and be a member of the congregation in good standing you should build your physical and mental health up. You need to be strong in both areas in order to make it. It's tough going to the kingdom hall while disfellowshipped.

-As a side point; there isn't actually any proof that the man in 1 Cor. is the same person mentioned in 2 Cor. It is a correlation the WTS makes and probably some other religions too. But, if you research it a bit it is also possible that Paul was talking about himself. He seemed to have a love/hate relationship with the Corinthians.

Welcome to the board and good luck on your journey.

codeblue

Welcome JamieL

You are certainly worth more then a sparrow in Jehovah's eyes...

I am truly sorry for all the woes you have been thru. What is worse is the WTBS making you feel worthless by not recognizing you are repentant. The prodigal son was accepted back, so should you.

You are valuable. Toxic people or groups should be avoided at this time in your life. Jesus said you would know his brothers by their "fruits". One is the brotherly love, it should be VERY evident. Use the scriptures to determine who really is following what Jesus said. As for me, the lack of brotherly love has wounded me deeply. I do not endorse elders that spiritually abuse people either, that is not love. (they spiritually abused me on a "welcoming visit" when we relocated to a new KH in a different state. I wanted to throw them out of the house, but instead, I sat in shock of the horrible things they said to us. I knew that Jehovah did NOT approve of the visit)

So for me, I don't feel JW's have the true religion, they have failed miserably on the lack of love and with their NGO with the UN they have committed spiritual adultry. I doubt that Jehovah is proud to have a group of people that endorse his name that do NOT turn in pedophiles. Do you think that hurts Jehovah's heart to be associated with pedophiles? As a parent, if my child was a pedophile, I would be greatly ashamed and hurt.

Your gf you were enaged to sounded like my first husband (a JW) he cheated on me since the 2nd anniversary up till we got divorced, 20 years of marriage. Be glad you aren't married to a cheater. I know it hurts to go thru it, but at least you didn't invest 20 years with her and have your heart broken several times and have children involved.

Keep reading and posting...and seek a counselor that can build your sefl esteem, and work on your child abuse issues. You are worth it!

Codeblue

jgnat

I think you are tired because you are tired of pleasing men. Your desire to be right by Jehovah is commendable. How about trying a more direct approach? I prescribe a nightly bible reading (without WT commentary) and prayer time, direct to Jehovah start with as long a time you are comfortable with, up to twenty minutes a night. Try it for a week and check back with me on how it is working. I suggest you start with the Psalms.

But I asked for reinstatement before I moved to my new congregation in the new town when my old lease was up. No. But they did say as long as I keep doing what I'm doing it won't be long. I was like OK good. It hadn't been 1 year yet, I'll just ask again at the new congregation after one year.

You just described the past six years of my (JW) husband's life. The elders are still saying, "Just keep doing what you are doing...." He is getting very tired also. He has already warned me if he gets fed up with the Witnesses he is not going anywhere else. He will simply worship quietly on his own.

But what would happen is a sheep could just poke its head thru those square holes and get stuck. And if you didn't watch them, it would try desperately to get free and eventually cut its neck on the fence and die. The sheperd would come over and get the sheep out before that happens. Or at least they should."

Your dad is a very smart man.

How do I use the quote box? I see the little quote bubble, but it does not fill with anything?

The trick is to highlight a block FIRST, then hit the quote button.

That pretty much eliminates any other Christian religion I would even want to look into.

Try the Christadelphians, or even better, the Bible Students.

Also, they are trying to follow and be set up as Jesus left the 1st century congregation. With the way it was organized.

In my humble opinion, the house churches do it far better.

JamesThomas

Welcome, Jamie.

You should be tired. You are attracted to drama, and so it comes. You are attracted to your tribal deity because you can relate to such a dramatic and chaotic guy. You're lost in the raging river of your own mind. You're a victim of yourself. There is no where to run because wherever you run, there you are.

Perhaps a time will come when you sincerely decide enough is enough. Only then will your life change. You are the problem, and you are the way out of the problem.

j

exwitless

Hello, fellow Hoosier! Nice to see another Indiana representative on board. As for your feeling lost religiously, DO NOT rush into any other religious decisions right now, even as far as deciding that you want to be reinstated. You have been through a lot, and it really sounds like you need to give yourself a break from trying to find all the right answers. Let life happen, get yourself psychologically on track and the deeper philisophical and religious issues will eventually work themselves out. You've been told how to think and what to think for your entire life by the witnesses, and now it's your turn to give control back to yourself.

juni

Welcome JamieL.

I can relate to what you are saying about believing some of the JW's religious teachings and also having a problem w/all of their added "rules". Just put that on hold right now.

Before I left the organization I was near a nervous breakdown. I finally sought help from a professional. I felt like I could never "do" enough or "be" good enough for Jehovah. A therapist will help you to gain back self esteem. They will not steer you away from what YOU want in your life. They are a neutral party helping you to gain balance and sanity in your life.

I wish you the very best.

Juni

MsMcDucket

Well, I'm glad to hear that you didn't marry that crazy 'ho'. Jamie you've been hurt bad. I don't know how you would feel about counseling, but you should consider it. You forgave your brother, but it sounds like you still have issues regarding the matter.

As far as the religion goes, I have no trouble saying that I don't believe in it anymore. If it keeps you down, you may never get up. Think about it?? What are you hoping to gain by going back? Forgiveness from God or man?

Count the cost and then make your decision.

Wishing you the best whatever you decide.

So tired...I feel like less than a sparrow (me)