Jehovahs witness men who trade old wives in for new....

by candidlynuts 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  candidlynuts

  How prevalent was this in your area? JW man in good standing, elders, ministerial servants, all levels, i have seen them trade off their old wife and marry a younger woman. they might get df'd for a year or so but eventually return and get all their priveleges back , only difference is they have a new woman on their arm.. the old wife usually has to move to another kingdom hall or accept the new couple being in her face all the time.

  i was wondering how many here know of men who did this.. ( i can think of 3 from our congregation, 1 was within my own family)
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  JH

  I know quite a few JW men in good standings with much younger wives. Often 20 years difference and more. Usually it's their 2nd or 3rd marriage, and they got to choose a more recent model...lol
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  undercover

  I've seen it happen a few times. Sometimes it was obvious what they were doing, other times it may have not been planned that way, but just ended up that way.

  A JW guy that I grew up with and went to school with got married young to a JW girl the same age as he was. I think they were 19 when thay got married. As time went by it was painfully obvious that their marriage was not a good one. They were not a good match. After almost 20 years of unhappiness in their marriage, the brother, who had become an elder by then, started seeing a single sister on the side. At first it was "encouragement" since she was all alone in the "truth", but eventually they encouraged each other in other ways (wink wink, nod nod). It was eventually found out and his wife immediately left him and started divorce proceedings. He shacked up with the younger, single sister, they both got DFd. They eventually married and a year or so later, they both got reinstated.

  I sincerely believe that he didn't plan the entire thing to the point of being reinstated and accepted back in the congregation to take up pretty much where he left off (he's an MS again, now). I think because so many JW kids married so young, that after a few years they realize that maybe they could have chosen better, but under JW law, they're stuck. I think some become desperate enough to cheat but without longterm goals of coming back with a new wife on their arm. Again, they're thinking short term just as they did when they got married.
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  Save My Soul

  Within the last year, I was told the PO in aPalmdale, CA congregation, left his wife for his secretary. He said his wife was mean to him. He was DF, wife moved to stay with relatives. Women outnumber the men. It seems attractive married men in the org. get propositions oppourtunities from younger women. They find a way too NEED counseling or help. Several elders I have known have know, found ways to start performing this task at distant eating establishments. It always is strange how the body was never familar with what was occurring, until the divorce.
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  luna2

  This sort of thing happens all over. The JWs like to think that they are different but they aren't. They reflect pretty much what is going on in the "world", they just like to pretend that they are more holy.
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  zagor

  I've heard of number of cases. Recently I've heard of two couples from Sweden. Two elders, all four of them pioneers, if fact if storry is correct these would be special pioneers (but at least regular) etc. Swapped their wives, got dfd, reinstated, and hope to live happily ever after.
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  jinjam

  WOW... even elders go through mid-life crisis, out with the old, in with the new (wink)
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  Seeker4

  Falling out of love with a mate and in love with someone new happens all the time.
  
  It happened to me, though not with anyone who was a Witness. I was long gone from the congregation by then.
  
  The thing with the Witnesses is that there are so many really attractive single women around - way more than men. It's easy for a fairly average guy to marry a really attractive and much younger woman. I feel sorry for some of the sisters, hanging around and waiting for Armageddon to come so they can marry a "perfect" man! Ha!
  
  But the fact that there is such a large group of single, attractive women may make it more common for this to happen among the JWs.
  
  S4
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  MeneMene

  It seems there was a rash of these back years ago. Guess things haven't changed much. These are some stories I recall from the rumor mill:
  
  One elder left his wife and ran off to Florida with a new young thing. Apparently it wasn't what he expected and soon came back. I don't recall if he was DF or just reproved since he quickly realized his mistake.
  
  Another was "counseling" a young sister inside the KH and they got caught in the act when another brother stopped in to see why the lights were on in the KH at a time no one was supposed to be there.
  
  Another elder that was on a JC for my ex. Apparently he was involved with someone around the same time he was judging others.
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  sammielee24

  I don't think this applies only to JW men and women, nor does it apply to every man or woman in any place either. Not every man wants a woman 20 years younger and not every woman sets her sights on men 20 years older. What I do believe, is that JW's are socially stunted if raised in the society and when they play by the rules, they have no dating experience. They get married because they feel they have to and often pick one of the girls in their own congregation - and often not because they love them but because they need to get married and any good sister will do. Ditto for the good sisters - they look to the potential of being married to an Elder so are willing to compromise. Fast forward 20 years and you might find that Elder xxxx or Sister yyy have matured and recognize why they got married and why they remain together and one or the other must make a choice on what path to take in the future. Who can judge? Nothing is as easy as it would appear to others, so I don't think most men or women just jump ship whenever they get the urge. I think the reasons are complex, but that our own experiences sometimes perhaps lend us a hand up on the judgement ladder when others appear to fall short. sammieswife.