If we could turn the clock back

KAYTEE

If you could rewind the clock, I became a witness when my mother and farther were still alive.

Like many on this board While I was reasonably down to earth, looking back I was still overboard, this was because of the doctrine of the wts that I had accepted.

I look back with regret that perhaps I could have been a better son to my parents.

One instance when my farther was in hospital, the surgeon told my mother that dad had a growth on his heart.

My mother was extremely upset, not over just the news, but was worried stiff that if my farther asked me, my mum knew I would tell the truth. (There are other ways of answering)

Many will say get a life, and we should not reflect on what has gone on in the past

They both died before I saw the real light, I’m sad that they are not alive now so that I could repair some of the damage.

DO WE REALY KNOW WHATS GOING ON THEIR MINDS when they hear the dribble we used to come out with?

KT

If it's any help, your parents would have forgiven you anything, even silly JW drivvel that you may have spouted at them. They would have just wondered 'what did I do wrong?' NOT 'what the hell is wrong with him.'

But that's the whole problem with the WTBTS in a nutshell, isn't it. It steals from its slaves. It steals their time, their families, the hopes and dreams, even their precious, magic memories of celebrations with families....all gone into Watchtower slavery.

The only thing we can do is learn, and do better in the future. If we can, we should help others to escape Watchtower slavery, but that's another long and very difficult story, as all of us here know!

Take care KAYTEE! Try not to dwell too much of these very sad past events, though I know that is easier said than done. Use them to make yourself stronger and better.

Love

Gill

Do Not Call

(((KAYTEE))),
My parents were and are JWs, but I do feel that gut-wrenching guilt/sadness about the way I was with my grandparents.
They loved me and wanted to spend time with me, but I distanced myself because they were 'bad association'. I also felt I didn't want to get too close as they were doomed for destruction any day.
What a terrible religion!!
They'd understand, parents, grandparents who aren't JWs have UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for their kids.
We have to live with the hurt when they're gone.

Love and sympathies,
DNC XXX

LittleToe

My parents and grandparents were true believers. The last of my grandparents passed away before I DAed. Seeing the pain that my parents have experienced over it I don't think I would want to wind back the clock and do it any earlier, for fear of causing pain to another generation that was even more assured than this one (a la 1975).

I let the chips fall were they lay, and get on with picking up whatever pieces are needed. IMHO, incessant dwelling on the past can only cause personal misery. History has lessons, but sometimes it needs consigning to the past.

Dansk

Hi Ken (((((((HUGS)))))),

Yes, we'd all like to be able to change things in our past, but we know we can't so have to focus on the present (NOT the future). The trouble is, and I'm as guilty as any, by dwelling on the past or thinking about the future, we are missing the present, which quickly becomes the past and, before we know it, another day has gone by.

I'm very philosophical these days. Our pains are in our minds. We make ourselves uncomfortable, irritable, sad, etc., by the way we think. We need to control the way we think and one way we can do this is to be more positive. I have to work on this myself EVERY day! If we can think good, happy thoughts and be mindful of what we are doing NOW, in the present, we will replace all the negativity - and, "God knows" I've had my fare share of negative thoughts over the years.

If your own child said stupid things to you you'd forgive him, as any good parent would. We know, with time, they mature and, hopefully, become wiser with age. What makes you think your own parents would think any differently towards you? They loved you and would forgive you anything! So, think positively and realise that your parents never thought of you as a twit, but as their son growing up and trying to find his way in the world just as they had to do and countless others, also.

The answer really is in the way we think!

Love,

Ian

UnConfused

KT,

I think in this case it's enough that you want and wish you could change the past. That is the true nature of an apology - not just saying you are sorry, but that you wish you could take it all back.

I'm sure that if your parents could hear you say that they would cheerfully forgive you in a nanosecond. And maybe they can hear you?

UnConfused/Confusedjw

lovelylil

(((KT)))

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I can certainly emphathize. I did not observe my parents birthdays or join in Holiday celebrations with them for nearly 12 years. Both of my parents died young and both died several years before I saw the true light and left the WT. I also sometimes wish I could turn back time. Especially in my Mom's case as she deserved some flowers for Mom's day and I wish she were here now so I could give her some. I often put some on her grave, but she can't enjoy them now. And theres not a darn thing I can do to change the situation.

One thing I am certain of is this: As a parent I understand unconditional love. The thing that helps me feel better is knowing my parents would have loved me no matter what. Even if sometimes they were hurt by my actions, I am sure I was forgiven soon afterward. I was on good terms with them when they died. I feel better knowing that all would have been easily forgiven anyway. Even though they did not get to tell me that, I know for sure that would have been their response had they been alive when I made my WT exit.

All we can do is go on from here and learn from our past mistakes. Knowing that any trials and tribulations in our lives only serve to make us a better, stronger person in the end. Peace, Lilly

choosing life

I was pretty obnoxious as a new witness to my family. My Mother cried when I refused to celebrate holidays. I tried to give my Grandmother literature in the nursing home. When she explained she had always been a Methodist and always would be, I thought she was doomed. It really wasn't the real me doing this though. It was the programmed witnoid.

I am sure your Mother forgave you already. I could never not forgive my children. My Mother is still alive and she is one of the very first ones that I told when i realized it was all a sham. She held nothing against me. She was just glad to have me back as a normal person. I am sure yor mother would do the same. Maybe in the future?

fullofdoubtnow

((((KAYTEE))))

My parents were very upset when I became a jw at 21, and fresh out of University. They thought I was wasting my education, and they were right, I was, and all for a fairy tale promise of a better future coming soon. As upset as they were by my decision, they loved me just as much as they always had, despite all the years I refused to join in Christmas or birthday celebrations, and how much I tried to preach to them. They were still proud of me, and I know yours would have been of you.

My dad died while I was still a jw, but my mum at least had the pleasure of seeing me realise what a mistake I'd made before she passed away last month. I miss them both very much, but I am grateful that mum, at least, lived long enough to see me truly happy again.

Linda

TheCoolerKing

that's the whole problem with the WTBTS in a nutshell, isn't it. It steals from its slaves. It steals their time, their families, the hopes and dreams, even their precious, magic memories of celebrations with families....all gone into Watchtower slavery.

I absolutely agree with that Gill! I just wish that I could have spent more time with my “worldly” dad, instead of wasting all those countless hours in field service. Now he is gone and I can’t.

If we could turn the clock back

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