Anyone else end up on a JC after losing their virginity?

yaddayadda

Yep, I did. I got 'privately reproved' after rushing to the elders to confess my sin after losing my virginity via fornicating.

I think all that shame and guilt and legalism that flowed on from that experience must've f*cked me up a bit, scuse the pun. About 6 months later I got in trouble with the elders again for more fornication (with a different woman) and that was only my second time bonking! (Why oh why did I rush to the elders each time - how naive I was all those years ago?). Before long I was out of the truth and on a sexual rampage for a few years, indulging in as much fornication as I could.

Damn you WTS. I think I've been warped through the association of my first screws with all the guilt and shame before God and friends/family.

onlycurious

I was never jw but I do have a story to tell.

When I was 19 I began to go to this small church of about 50 or so members. It was real tight, like family.

I had just come out of a premisicous time in my life and men could probably tell by looking at me at that time that I was 'that kind of girl.'

Needless to say, I brought my boyfriend to that church and had an awful run-in with the Pastor. We would often meet in a make-shift living area in the garage on Sunday and Wednesday nights. I have great memories as I was in college at this time and free as a bird to do as I pleased. It was great.

Well, one night that Pastor brought my boyfriend and I out to the backyard away from everyone else. He told my boyfriend he needed to stop rubbing my back and playing with my hair during the message. It was rather distracting for him and it had to stop. Little did I know that there was a REASON why it bothered him. That issue revealed itself in the ugliest of ways.

Because of my sins, I went to my Pastor and his wife and confessed that I was having sex with my boyfriend. The man drilled me in front of his wife and wanted to know DETAILS of what we had done. I was pretty naive at the time but I remember feeling really uncomfortable about the whole thing. He was angry with me and told me that I could put all the guys I had been with (there really weren't THAT many, honest) in a brown paper bag and put one out and I wouldn't know the difference. I'll never forget that night.

Well, as time went on I began to realize this Pastor was sick in the head. He would take me to L.A. for lunch and I was suppose to keep it a secret. He would tell me I looked good enough to eat and I just though he was complementing me because he was a married 50 yr old pastor who certainly didn't mean THAT! Yikes

It was years later after I left the church that the truth has come about. My sister distanced myself from me because she didn't believe I was telling the truth. She married the Pastor's son....great guy....and the pastor bold-face lied about the whole thing....in the Holy Name of Jesus. Yikes

I don't recommend going to anyone of the opposite sex and telling them anything like that if you feel the need to confess your guilty conscience. It was a huge learning lesson for me but I did not lose faith in God over it. I learned that man is man and God is bigger than that!

Lumptard

I didn't...but a friend of mine did....she got DF'd and proceeded to let off some steam and be "worldly" for a while...unfortunately she wasn't that experienced at it and ended up getting raped. What a loving provision disfellowshipping is....riiiiiiight.

ButtLight

Yeppers, been there done that! I was 18, went in a crying away, and was df'ed right on the spot!

What I dont get is the whole repenting thing. Obviously you are repentant, or you wouldnt go in and confess right? You wouldnt flood the back room with tears, if you werent sorry right? Whatever! Its just cruel and plain sick.

Tyrone van leyen

The exact same thing happened to me and it was made into a public affair. I lost it to a prostitute because they sanctioned my life beyond beleivability and I felt my life was passing me by. I did not want to bring shame on the congregation and couldn't relate to anyone in the world. I know of three others in my congregation that did the same thing years after I did. That tells you something in bold print that something is very wrong with what they are doing to people. There are probably others too all over the country that go this route. It is very difficult to talk about because people don't understand and don't care. I was 19 years old when it happened and told a sister who ratted me out. My first experience was don't kiss me don't touch my breasts just do it and get out! That was my first experience and it shouldn't have been that way. I didn't deserve that and I'm not hard to look at either. The shame the guilt the embarassment and the public exposure was to much to bear. I felt condemed and dammed by god and family. I went on the same rampage as you. When your name is destroyed and your life and dirt is made public what difference does it make anymore. I felt I might as well have as much fun aas I can as I'll be destroyed at harmaggedon First sexual experience is crucial and leaves a lasting impression on the mind. I can almost relate to what it feels like to be part of a tabloid scandal. Despite my honesty and good intentions growing up this was my reward and it still effects me today. I'm glad you had the courage to post what happened to you and wish more people would. I think it's a bigger problem than most people realize. The only reason I now post my expererience is it was already pubic knowledge, the damage has been done and now I see that it wasn't my fault. To anyone reading this now that see's themselves know that it is not your fault.God dam you hypocritical bastards. I'm with ya all the way buddy!

Tyrone van leyen

I also notice that the elders make sure their sons and daughters marry the best looking and best of of the crop. They protect their own kids who party like f%&^*^n animals and kill the competition by doing in guys like me. Guess what we know your game now and see you for the losers that you really are! Sorry for being harsh but that's the way I see it. I was even banned from my brothers weddings ,my own graduation and lived in dire straights, while they lived there lives with zero repercussions. I know many things about many people. I have connections to the grapevine. I have made it my business. Well i'm back now! Does anybody agree or am I just talking out the top of my hat. Thats what happened with me anyways and that's what I see. I have nothing to lose by saying this. They couldn't possibly damage my life anymore. These comments are not hate motivated they are fact motivated at least in my situation. I would like to know if anyone else has made the same observations.

avidbiblereader

Yup, I was married for 20 years and ended up on a JC as a 40 year old virgin with my second wife. They booted me out that night, when 7 members of my ex's family camped outside of my house.

abr

monkeyshine

I actually got away with that one. They caught me alot but not that time.

Been there

Yes, but I had been married a few years.

lighthouse19something

Wouldn't getting married be a sign of repentence? I think Paul said it was better to marry than be consumed with (unfilled)passion

Tyrone- I know what you mean, the elders gave talks about singles going to the elders which of the other singles were worthy of 'courting'. Somehow I was never spoken well of when yhey inquired about me. Maybe I should have gone to yhem about whom I could date.

Anyone else end up on a JC after losing their virginity?

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