Most of this stuff is targeted towards the 18-24 age and directed to interactions in clubs. In this setting, yes it does work very well. I don't have any hard statistics, but from personal experience I used most of these suggestions in my younger clubbing years with great success.
Nosferatu's School of Dating - Lesson 2.2 - Building Rapport
by Nosferatu 26 Replies latest social relationships
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Nosferatu
what you really don't seem to get is that not all women are alike.
Women's personalities are NOT alike, but their natural human behaviour is (the same goes for men). It's the personalities that will do the sorting of whether the woman is "compatible" for them or not.
If these guys want to get the same type of woman you do then the cookie cutter approach might work for them but if they are attracted to a different type it might just have the opposite effect.
Just because the cookie cutter makes the same shape cookie each time, it doesn't mean that the ingredients are also identical.
Stats please.
http://www.stylelife.com/
http://www.fastseduction.com/
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/
http://www.sosuave.com
http://www.getgirls.com
http://www.themysterymethod.com/
http://www.setbb.com/charisma/
http://www.doclove.com/
http://www.blowmeuptom.com/
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Some women do actually like the nice guys.
And there's nothing wrong with that. But while the nice guy is on the sidelines waiting for the woman to approach him, what is he going to do in the meantime?
Neil Strauss (aka Style) mentioned something interesting in his book. When a man is able to easily attract women, he will not resort to rape or suicide to "fix" his inability to attract the opposite sex.
That is something guys really need to remember, and women as well. It's the old adage, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince/princess/fuck buddy.
In other words, dating lots of women to "weed out" the bad or incompatible ones.
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kid-A
I do think you have good intentions here. I'm sure there are ex-jdubs that have problems interacting with the opposite sex due to the JW upbringing, but honestly, I have found them few and far between and no more numerous than what one would find in the population in general.
In addition, I think some of this advice may work in highly specific settings, with a particular clientele, but I can tell you, having lived in major cities in Canada, the US and Europe, there is NO universal methodology for meeting and possibly hooking up with women.
For example, if a guy used your suggestions in a club in Toronto, they would be mercilessly mocked, slapped and/or bounced. Some of these techniques would have worked in the college pubs in some US cities (with the 18-22 yr old sorority girls), but not in the classier establishments. Similarly, these techniques would get the cold shoulder, or worse, in a city like Paris or Barcelona. I've never been to Manitoba so I have no idea what the club culture is like there, but given the international membership of this board, I think the disclaimer "School of Dating for Manitobans" maybe in order....
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GetBusyLiving
These are good tips for young guys who want to meet girls at bars and get laid. It might sound kind of brutish and fake, but the results speak for themselves. If you are one of those ladies who wont fall for this crap the player couldn't care less anyway as he's already on to his next victim.
GBL
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Nosferatu
For example, if a guy used your suggestions in a club in Toronto, they would be mercilessly mocked, slapped and/or bounced.
I must say I disagree 100% with your statement. There's a link I posted above to The Mystery Method run by a fairly famous guru and pick up artist. Guess where Mystery resides...
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Xena
Those aren't stats they are links to sites that promote your viewpoint.
I think the disclaimer "School of Dating for Manitobans" maybe in order....
ditto. Know your niche.
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Nosferatu
Those aren't stats they are links to sites that promote your viewpoint.
You wanted proof that this stuff was tried and tested. I suggest you go and read some of those websites, especially the public forums. They're full of real-life experiences from people around the world. After a while, the situations become repetitive and identical. That's why the "cookie cutter method" is effective.
I think the disclaimer "School of Dating for Manitobans" maybe in order....
I already gave a disclaimer of this stuff generally applying to people in North America and Europe. The basic origins of everything I've posted come from around the world. Manitoba has nothing to do with the common dating situation that appears in developed countries.
However, this stuff will NOT work in lands where people hold onto strong traditions such as arranged marriages and lack of general freedom.
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Abaddon
It's the Girl Whispherer!!
Seriously, anyone see that? Guy takes a feral horse in a small (20 yards square, maybe bit bigger) pen. Walks up to horse, horse moves away. Repeats. Eventually horse gets tired of running away, starts lowering its head (in horse, 'hey, I don't like this tension, let's stop this'). He moves away. Horse follows.
The same basic technique, using how horses interact against them so they help you build a rapport and can back, saddle and ride them without fuss or drama.
This is basically simple human psychology, noting the things which naturally lead to a pleasent atmosphere and intentionally duplicating them, using simple methods of getting someone's attention, simple desensitising techniques for physical contacts, and also being a simple step-by-step method of acheiving a goal; you always know what to do next.
Psychology and body language aside, this number thing... I've seen it in the 'States. What is that? They don't do it in Holland or the UK, not in the systematic way I have seen American guys work a room. Cruise up be charming and lay your number down is just wankyv - in the UK and you'd be laughed at - if you're lucky behind your back.
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J-ex-W
The unfortunate thing is I can only give you tips on how to build good rapport. I will not be giving you magic lines that will make her fall in love with you. It's your own personality, your enthusiasm, your wit, your sense of humor, your creativeness, and your imagination that has to do the actual work.
Ohmigod!!! Nosferatu, I love the new you!!
One of the best ways to get a woman to quickly become comfortable around you is to treat her like you've known her for years, or even like your bratty little sister.
Actually, the bratty little sis is another dynamic I'd put qualifiers on. Whether it's little sis or little bro, it's one-up or one-down, and can inadvertently set up a pattern of relational imbalance. In fact, I had this specific conversation with a guy I once dated for a bit. He said said one of the things he liked about me right away was how he could pick on me--back and forth--like I was his sister or something.
I said that works great for friends, but in a partnership--like business partners, e.g.--less picking and more working on pooling of your 'resources,' your individual strengths--toward a common goal is what works. And marriage is supposed to be just that--a partnership. Best to learn to practice that kind of dynamic from the get-go. He agreed, and our interaction changed and actually improved. [Some picking is good...but too much is still too much. I say this not to say it's wrong--just to say, Aim for balance.]
pat her on the head like a dog and say "Awww, pooor (her name)".
NO. Play with her by all means--she may also play this way with you. But never pat her on the head. You don't like it. She doesn't like it. Pat her shoulder, arm, back, knee (and only if her knee is covered)...but not her head. There's also a practical component to this: Most women have invested at least some of their effort, energy--creative and emotional--and time into getting their hair to set just where it is. Don't dis this.
Sometimes just one pat or a hard brush/ bump is enough to set the collapse in motion. You may not see it, but she can physically feel it. The hairspray, gel, mousse, or whatever literally breaks its brittle hold and the hair starts falling out of place. Even if it doesn't ruin the look, it still feels funny and is an annoying distraction--which means she'll be unpleasantly distracted from paying attention to you, and because of you. That leaves her just one step away from being annoyed by you, if she isn't already.
Only pat her head--EVER--after you already know her well and know that she has not already 'invested' in her hair that day. It's just courtesy. Like not patting a car hood that's just been waxed. [Not picking on you, Nos.... Most guys just don't know this.]
Try to have some fun with every serious question she asks you.
Again: Some picking is good...but too much is still too much. Aim for balance. And poking fun with EVERY serious question is too much. A couple, three, maximum four. Beyond that...you're less likely to get to a fifth or sixth. [or to a fifth and sex!]
ask her (playfully with a smile) if it turns her on.
LOL !!!! Okay, Nos--now I KNOW you just throw these in there to start off the howls!!! LOL I have YET to be not creeped out this approach. Never ask a girl, 'Does that turn you on,' unless you already know her very, very, very, well!!! That just says slimy perv. Those guys who have tried that approach have gotten NOWHERE with me--even if all systems were 'go' up until that point.
You can also let her know that mundane things (like certain colors or goofy sounds) make you horny. REMEMBER this is all in a playful atmosphere, and sexual humor makes conversation interesting and fun.
Okay, you're putting out the playful feelers about sex--whether or not she's receptive. But guys...don't be surprised if this is the point at which all your good work heretofore just comes apart!!! Putting out these kinds feelers about sex is fine--if you have a thick skin for sudden and sharp rejection and are prepared to let acquaintance abruptly halt here. There are more subtle, tasteful, and certainly less creepy ways to accomplish this. Let me call up some of my best old boyfriends and get back to you on what they used...but I guarantee that the man with this approach was left in my dust.
The quicker you make her feel comfortable around you, the quicker you're going to get your first kiss from her (possibly during or by the end of the first night you interact with her),
Don't aim for quick...aim for quality. This applies...ahem!...in other settings as well.
I'm going to put out a suggestion: Go out and get yourself a part time job to practice interacting with people you don't know. Get a part-time job with a large turnover rate (fast food restaraunts are great for this). Practice getting new people, male and female, to feel comfortable around you in a short amount of time. The practice will genuinely pay off.
Ya know, Nos...I never would have thought of recommending this, but I think it's actually good. It's actually where I got my first...lesson...in focusing on what pleases the 'customer'--the smiling face, the friendly chat, the innocuous flirting. Huh!! Unique, creative, and GOOD advice! KUDOS
Okay, and now I'm just too lazy to go in and put all the emoticons, so...just imagine your favorite ones where you like. Nos, the stuff I have 'left alone'--sounds really good. Really. And again, thanks for the distraction. It's not that I need to doggedly dog your ass...I am just in much need of a pleasant [for me] distraction at this point. Thanks for dutifully providing that....
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J-ex-W
Just because the cookie cutter makes the same shape cookie each time, it doesn't mean that the ingredients are also identical.
EEWWWWWW!!!!! This sounded like a cookie-cutter JW-defense response. Somebody wipe the baking grease off me, pleeeeeease!!!!