Are JW kids allowed to be kids? (page 4)

mrsjones5

Aw man! I just witnessed someone putting foot firmly in mouth

*waits for the fray to begin*

zack

No one mocks the true beleivers. The system of beleifs handed down like the sacred pronouncements of God by those WHO KNOW they are no such things

is what created these experiences. And when I see a 2 year old being spanked becuase he cannot sit still for two hours at a KH, this is because of the

system of beleifs that the KH is somehow the sacred TEMPLE and dwelling place of God and no disruption regardless of how minor or by what minor is to be tolerated.

And those that enforce that system should be ranted against.

I didn't have a normal childhood at all. Right from being able to talk, I was taken out in the ministry, taken to meetings and not allowed to play with other non JW kids. I was fortunate in having a sister only 18 months younger than me, and another JW family with a daughter close to my sisters' age who lived nearby, but they were the only friends I was allowed to have as a child. My first year at school, when I was the only JW there, was very uncomfortable as well, and it was a great relief when my sister and our friend started the following year.

I am sorry to say that I inflicted the same things on my two boys when they were young as well, though the younger one rebelled against it as a yeenager, and never became a jw, so his children have had a childhood, unlike my older JW sons' children.

juni

Hi Jamie,

I read what you said and it's hard to read about sexual abuse from a sibling or in general. It is horrible.

But, I, too, was sexually abused by my brother who I was close to. It is forever locked in my memory. And I'm sure there are other JW kids who have been abused by their siblings or a parent or "friend". I don't want to minimize the trauma to one's psyche.

But, besides the abuse these kids also had to forego any outside activities other than what the religion approved which was gathering with "mature" ones for a little one on one hoops and for heaven's sake don't keep any scores! Or other such choreographed fun. No sports, no worldly friends over, no school functions, TV programs and music should meet the parents' approval. And on and on and on. They were expected to act like adults and keep themselves in line.

Fortunately your parents allowed you to have some normalcy in your growing years. You were one of the lucky few. Today, now that they are adults most of these kids raised as JWs are emotionally and socially stunted w/memories of a childhood that they would never want to return to.

Again I'm not minimizing your experience because I had the same, but I'd say to some degree or another these kids who were raised w/such unreasonable expectations are a F*****up mess even if they did not have any sexual abuse.

Juni

Tyrone van leyen

Sounds like you had good parents Jamie. Maybe too good. For your brother to be raised a witness and even consider taking such liberties with you, shows an aloofness and an attitude of impunity. If I had your childhood, I wouldn't complain about the witnesses either. Unfortunately some of us had parents who took every written word extremely seriously, and were raised with punitive and restrictive measures beyond beleif, that coloured every aspect of our existance. Some of us can't let go of it that easily, because it effected us in the developmental and formative years, and left heavy scarring. The same way you can't, in your situation. Naivety and cover up has left some of us as victims to the same crap that happened to you on top of everything else. If you wish to minimize everyone elses suffering just because you were the exception to the rule. Go right ahead. I choose to put the blame squarely where it belongs. Just because the witnesses have managed so far to escape the radar of the state and coyly manage there image, this does not absolve them of the responsibilty of broken homes, ruined lives, and suicides. These are very real problems. We are talking about it here, as a form of healing. How would you feel if we said "Well Jamie, it's not your brothers fault you know. Maybe it's just his genetic prediposition. Our parents, I'm sure thought they were doing the right thing and got trapped in a mentality that wasn't healthy for anyone. They were, and are, victims as well. If you do not not see yourself in this scenario, than perhaps you should be posting your greivances elsewhere and seek the appropriate counselling with regards to your situation. Everyone has a different story you know. Good luck to you in any regard!

Paisley

And then there's the obvious non-separation of kids and adults at the hall. Other religions have special classes for kids. Not the JWs. JW kids have to learn at the same level as the adults and listen to adult topics.

Not to mention that kids can be subject to a judicial committee and be held accountable for very normal kid things. But they're tried as adults, and some are shunned as well. Kids are expected to behave like adults. There's a lot of pressure on JW kids.

I never felt like I was allowed to be a kid as a JW. I always felt like I had to be a mini-adult. Did you feel that way?

tall penguin

Yes, that's all very sad, and offensive.

My kids didn't really mind going to meetings when they were little - for one thing, I always let my little one sleep, so he was fine. And my other child is extremely sociable so she loved being at the Hall. Later when my son was a preteen he dreaded having to stop whatever fun activity he was engaged in, to go get ready for the meeting. But he went, as his dad insisted. And once there, he found his friends and had a good time, ridiculing everything. They loved doing that!

Later when each of them experienced the JW judicial system, I was infuriated by it all, but that was the last straw for me and I'm glad to now be free of the dirty little organization!

lapazman

Never. My father took me fishing two times in my entire life. Family vacations for fun, relaxation, NEVER. Always conventions and the stress of my mother's paranoid concern with pressed clothes, ties and looking the part mulitiplied by 4 kids. I was the olders so you know who caught most of it. Oh, and the family pictures in the local small town newpaper of us at conventions looking so *($)$*0 perfect. In a town of 2,000 people everyone saw them and the abuse I recieved at school the following weeks was nearly unbearable. Did learn public speaking and 'speach writing' which has helped but at what cost. Having to start an education in my 30's. Still having pangs of guilt from time to time over celebrating birthdays and holidays. Receiving corporal punishment for misactions during the meetings that would be actionable under law today. Growing up during the 50's and 60's being told on a regular basis to expect physical torture and worse since we were living in the end of days. (born in 52). Dreading school and the teasing, abuse and fist fights over my being a JW. Then getting punished again for not 'turning the other cheek' when coming home. Being pitied by a few teachers and students who were actually true human beings but whom did not understand how this actually made things worse. The list goes on, but what's the use. They will continue destroying their kids lives. The best to all.

Hortensia

when I read what Jamie L said, I had to take a break and think about it, I was so angry. The more I thought about it, the more I could see what the dynamic is. It is very hard to JWs and ex-JWs to get out of that habit of putting other people down as a sort of advertisement of their own righteousness. Well, Jamie, I had an indescribably horrible childhood, directly due to the WTBTS, including being molested by my father. For you to deride the suffering of others as overblown negativity and then say that you suffered more is arrogant. People suffer in different ways, and when people have gone through horrific experiences they can't help talking about it. In fact, it's a kind of catharsis to talk about it, helps you to reframe the experience and get it out of your system. It is healing to face the demons and see them for what they really are.

I feel sorry for you - you were betrayed by your brother and not protected by your parents. Yet you describe your brother as your best friend and your parents as wonderful. Don't you think something is wrong there? I really think you need some counselling, I found counselling by a local psychologist was a life-saving experience. I went to the local community health office and was assigned a psychologist, and discussing it all with him was immensely helpful. I was able to reframe all those exeriences, and look at them from the position of an adult who has more power and is not still a victim. I went regularly for about a year and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.

lighthouse19something

Most halls I went to did have children my age, I couldn't school friends over and the only non-jw friends I could have were the neighbors children. When I was a teen-ager and young adult, there weren't any females my age.

freedom96

The JW's are so hung up about being different, and this is another perfect example. Really now, how unloving it is to try to make young ones sit still through crap we barely could make it through.

We go to a non-denominational church now sometimes, and they have fantastic programs for the kids, including pre kindergarten classrooms that are separated by every 6 months, and after that, for each individual age group.

Adults only in the main room, but even they have about 6 different venues to choose from, according to personal taste.

Are JW kids allowed to be kids?