How many still live with consequenses made as a teen that still affect you?

by megsmomma 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  megsmomma

  With so many of us having gotten baptised at a young age and now dealing with the results of it...

  It made me wonder how many decisions made at a young age still could and do affect your life.

  Example: When I was 14 I thought it was a good idea to marry this weird brother that was our land lord. (Thank goodness I was too young to do so) also, I thought it was a good idea to have pet monkeys....and a good idea to have my own apartment with several other young JW sisters...even thinking it would be a good idea to have babies...

  I was too young to do any of those things...so I have no consequences from having those ideas....yet, getting dunked at that age was perfectly acceptable....and now I still pay the price.

  Are there any things you can think of that you would have done at a young age that could have made you pay for years to come?
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  DanTheMan

  Got put in an outpatient counseling program by my parents that did me a lot of good (long story short, I was a very very emotionally troubled youth).

  But upon "graduating" from said program, I made probably the worst decision of my life when I started smoking weed again with a buddy that lived in my neighborhood, which led to 4 years of nonstop abuse from him and his buddies. God, they belittled me for everything I did and said. I have no idea why I kept hanging around them. I still haven't gotten over those years, I don't think.
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  jaguarbass

  Not getting a college degree because of the witnesses. I should have gone to college been a school teacher and had lots of time off to enjoy life. My thinking was jaded and tainted by the witnesses.
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  VanillaMocha73

  a) Parents made decision to skip some needed back surgery to correct severe scoliosis, because Armageddon would be here before it ever affected me.
  b) Parents made decision to keep me out of college because Armageddon would be here before I ever needed to hold down a job.
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  owenfieldreams

  No college education or degree is one regret for me. Of course, as I've gotten older, my view of academia and college has evolved as well--I don't happen to think it is as important as it used to be, unless of course you want to go into a highly specialized field. I've actually been fortunate and done well without one. Nonetheless, I think all young people should have the OPPORTUNITY to go, if that is what they want to do.
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  VanillaMocha73

  Oh - and married a "wonderful ministerial servant" at age 18 so we could pioneer and be missionaries. Consequences lived with - 13 years of emotional, mental and physical abuse. Scars. One beautiful little boy.
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  james_woods

  Bad decisions: Baptized at about 16, pioneered for a while, refused science scholarship to Rice University, got married at 25 without thinking over what I was doing...(all approved by the local elders).

  Good decisions: Private Pilot license school from 17 to 19 (got my ticket over the objections of the elders). Business College from 18 to 21. (again over the objections). Orange Porsche 911T Targa in 1969, age 20 (again over the objections, not just the elders, but also the GF of the day who did not like orange).

  Lesson: most of the things I did on my own were OK. most of the things I was told to do by the witnesses just cost me time, money, self-esteem or a combination thereof.
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  Abandoned

  Lesson: most of the things I did on my own were OK. most of the things I was told to do by the witnesses just cost me time, money, self-esteem or a combination thereof.

  Yeah! I didn't end up with an orange porsche (nice one there) but otherwise, I would mirror the aobve thoughts EXACTLY!
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  megsmomma

  Soooooooo......all of the "bad decisions" that affect us to this day are related to being a JW (for the most part) That is why it stinks so bad!
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  james_woods

  Well, admittedly not all the bad decisions, megsmomma. Most JW teens I knew beered & partyied it up pretty hearty on their own.

  But, if you think about it - the really important stuff: sex, dating, draft, marriage, lifestyle, medical issues, college, jobs, ability to reason on science and religion - if you were a JW, you got pulled into the star chamber on every single one of these. Hell, even color and #doors of your car, style of suit, tie, and shoes, choice to join debate team or sports at school, act in a school play, everything was decided for you (or attempted as such).

  So, yeah - I think in the important stuff, JWs pretty much had a hand in most of my dissapointments and discouraged whatever independence I did manage on my own. (most of which came from my Presbyterian Grandfather who could see through a cult straight away).