If you grew up in a divided home, post your experiences here please.

jambon1

How did you view your unbelieving parent? How did you view the contrasting interests of your unbelieving parent? Did your Jw parent have the greater influence on you? Thanks.

I grew up hearing the WTS say that non-JWs were going to die at Armageddon. They even taught then that non-JWs who died before Armageddon weren't going to be resurrected. When we were younger, my siblings and I would try to be perfect "Christians" so that my father would study and change his ways (including his pedophile ways!).

My mother hid behind my father's non-JW status when she wanted to do something that was not allowed by JWs. She missed meetings she didn't have to and when questioned said that my father forbid us to go (a big lie).

So we saw the WTS world and the non-JW world side by side. Actually, we learned to respect and like non-JWs which made my transition out of the Borg easier since I did not demonize non-JWs in my mind.

Blondie

jinjam

since my father was not a jw and he worked constantly away from home for periods between 3 to 6 months, we had most of our time with our mother, who is quite fanatical( We were publishers already at the age of 6)

when ever he was home they would spend their time argueing, when he was away she would latch on to my sister and me telling us about their problems and when he came home she would latch on to him and complain about us, she always tried to get him to go the meetings.

Between the ages of 6 and 13, my father was diagnosed with rheumathoid arthiritis, in that period he studied with brother for a while, even attended the meetings and then eventually just stopped and never went again.

there were always differences on how to raise us, those arguements ended as my father eventually understood that he was never going to convince her otherwise.

aarque

My mom became a jw in the early 1950's. My dad was dead set against it at first. We would have our home book study when he was at work and a lot of times my sisters and I would go to the meetings and mom would stay home. Christmas was tough; we would go to my grandmother's for a big family reunion, but Mom would tell us it was wrong. Dad gave up trying to celebrate Christmas. Overall, he was a great dad... didn't drink, never looked at other women, never ran around, never beat us. Being told over and over by other jws that my dad would never survive Armageddon (never Mom) made me wonder why, if he was such a good man, why would God destroy him? He told my mother once that if he wanted to believe in what he did, then Mom had the right to believe in whatever she wanted to. Ten years ago he was very sick and in the hospital; undergoing several surgeries. He had blood transfusions and asked that they be given to him in the mornings before visiting hours so mom wouldn't be upset by it. The other jws always said we had a divided household, but I couldn't see it. Dad was head of the house and Mom always gave him that respect.

He taught us respect, loyalty, and that we were limited only by our imaginations. He was so proud when I went back to school and graduated from the University in 2001.

Dad died on May 28, 2005. Mom had a witness funeral. They never even said Dad's name.

metaspy

My dad was not a JW, but he stuck around for 7 or 8 years.
He did not like celebrating holidays by himself, so he left and found someone who would celebrate them.
My mom was big on not saying bad things about my dad. She said, "eventually you will see what is the true personality."

However, I did not have good experiences with my dad. He was very unreasonable. He could only see his point (of course it had no flaws). Somehow, I seem to be coming to his conclusions - 15 years later. Strange.

looking_glass

My mom was raised a JW. From what I can gather, my father became a JW for her. They knew eachother in high school. He was a smoker and when they banned the practice, I believe he got DF'd. I am not 100% certain because it was never discussed in our family. You would think it would make it hard on us, but really it did not. I am the baby of the family, so I don't know what it was like for my older siblings, but it was pretty easy on me, one being a JW and one not.

When I was younger, my mother was not a tow-the-line kind of JW. My dad did not fight the practices and did not celebrate the holidays, it was not a big deal. Though one time my parents had gotten into a fight and my dad decided to take us on a holiday shopping spree, but after we drained the bank account, he realized he should not give a girl a credit card and set her free in a mall. If my mom did not want to do something she would blame it on her non-JW husband. She got lots of sympathy, but I always knew it was BS, her blaming my dad for something she wanted/did not want to do.

My father died when I was younger and my mother was on her own. It was hard for her because she never had to work and she had it pretty good. Eventually she had to get a job and she became bitter and more of an over the top JW. I think she never thought she would get old and have to address the issues she had to address and that is why she is more over the top now then when I was a kid.

Alligator Wisdom

Blondie said : I grew up hearing the WTS say that non-JWs were going to die at Armageddon.

That was the case in my family. My father was a Catholic and my mother was a newly converted JW when I was five years old. My dad left when I was six years old because of all the persecution that my mom gave him.

I'm not criticizing nor defending my father for what he did. I just believe that the JW belief broke up my parent's marriage.

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously by WTS standards)

moanzy

My dad was only a part of my life up until I was about 4. I never hated my dad, but my very last memory of him was when he brought us home from christmas.

He argued that he wanted us living a normal childhood, involved in all holidays at school etc. My mom of course is bawling and my new step-dad takes after my

dad. I thought my dad was done for sure. This was scary and mom didn't really tell us too much about him growing up. He was disfellowshipped for apostacy because he questioned

many of the bizarre teachings of the witnesses and could no longer live it.

I met my dad again when I was 19 and I feel sick that I lost out on a perfectly good father because of this cult. My mom is a die-hard and would rather make us live through abuse

than to live with a man who isn't a JW. Her words to my father-- "I'm imbarrassed to walk down the street with you".

Moanzy

free2beme

I viewed my father as someone out to cause problems and be trouble. I also distrusted him and thought anything he said was not approved by Jehovah. I remember when he was trying to explain something important about life one day, and I kept interrupting him with, "Does mom know about this?" How annoying that must have been, to be raising children who saw you as the enemy. I was shocked it took them so long to divorce. Especially, since now I consider my mother to be a manipulating nut job, and hard to deal with. I love her, but I do not trust her. At least my father is happy that both his children left the religion, as that was his one hope in life and he tried hard to always give us a taste of a non Witness life by putting his foot down with celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas. He did his best, and I am surprised he got away with, what he got away with. Well, at least he tried.

Highlander

Thank you so much for this topic.

Both my parents were born into this cult. Dad was an elder/pioneer, mom was his pioneer partner. Eventually Dad woke up to all this non-sense and faded away.

Dad was subtle(somtimes not so subtle), yet persistent in sharing balanced viewpoints with his children. I have a brother and a sister, and at this point in time, I'm the only one that sees

through the j-dub bull-sh$t. I'm so thankful for my Dad and his positive influence on my life. Without his balance and honesty I may have turned into a complete j-dub nutcase.

On a sadder note, I did end up in a marriage to a j-dub. So this thread really hit home in that regards. I don't have any children and I'm coming to the conclusion I don't want any

if my wife persists in believing this garbage. Do I really want my wife to be teaching my children that her 'loving' god will soon arrive to destroy all 'worldly' people?

Not a chance!!!