I've thought about this many times. I had doubts but buried them because I knew that to express them would bring the whole house of cards down. We were constantly told "where are we to go?" After you have heard that hundreds of times you believe that it is true. The Watchtower likes to take about those who aren't prepared to pay the cost of becoming a witness. Well it works the other way also. A lot of people stay because they aren't prepared to pay the cost of leaving. Once I was able to accept that they would all turn their backs on me and that my sanity was worth more than their conditional friendships I was able to leave. That was over 20 years ago and I'm so glad I ran for the door.
"How Could I Have Believed the Garbage for so Long?"
by scout575 20 Replies latest jw friends
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The wanderer
Dear Scout575:
Thank you for the topic of discussion
that you have presented.
It has inspired me to write more about
it in an upcoming thread.
The Wanderer -
Alwayshere
InquiryMan, Was just wondering why they decided to DF you. I guess that means it won't be much longer for me. Have been out for about 4 years now and not DF. Not that I would care except my Daughter has told me if I get DF I couldn't see my grandkids. To think I raised my kids in that cult just makes me sick.
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Kaput
James, 15 years is not bad,how about 31 years and still going at it and trying to find a way to fade and not be df due to family.
sspo ---
Sometimes we can't fade. We've just gotta start blastin' with those Colts!
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Deputy Dog
scout
How long were you in the Jehovah's Witness organization?
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JWdaughter
I was reading this and it struck me as being so sad. You know, how ever much time we 'wasted' in the organization, many of us spent those years kind of clueless about how much of it was a waste. Even those who 'knew better' found various things joyful and good during this time. Some married, had children, careers etc. The years in the org.are a shame in some ways, but they all brought us to where we are and inform us as to what we CAN be. They have made us stronger, given us our families. While the WT is wasteful, it is part of our histories and doesn't render any part of our lives 'wasted'. Like a bad marriage may bring us bills, debt and some bad memories-there was something in it good enough to hook us, and (usually) during it, even when it wasn't great, some good things came of it. Like children.
No one here has 'wasted' years. Life is just a process, and that was a part of ours.
I know I only spent 15 years in, and had very few horrid consequences (comparitively), but I have screwed up with enough of the rest of mine. Still hard to regret the things that brought me to now. Mostly happy, still learning, definitely growing. At least NOW I know. . .I know that God isn't gonna get me at armageddon if I am not in the org.
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zack
JWdaughter,
Hi,
I don't think people feel that life or any time in life is a waste. Life is to be savored, teasured, celebrated, enjoyed. And most join or stay with the WT for that very reason: they want life and more of it. That's the promise, the hook: eternal life, youth, beauty, no sorrows, the girl of your dreams, ecstasy and pleasure.
The WT, however, narrows a person's choices. And that narrowing of choice takes away from a person. It is that taking away that makes a person feel like the time was wasted. The WT pushes down a person's dreams, aspirations, talents, individuality, humanity. Time in it is wasted in the sense that it was invested in a lie.
If you work hard all your life and invest in a company and your money grows from a thousand dollars to a million dollars and then it goes broke the day before you retire, can you really say you were once a millionaire? Would not your money have been "wasted" ? Yes. Because all that time you could have invested in something ELSE. The WT takes away the ELSE, the choice, the opportunity.
Zack------
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choosing life
Once the house of cards comes tumbling down, it can be a difficult thing to realize that so much of your time was spent on a fantasy. I was in for 30 years. But I raised my children and loved them to the best of my ability. I went back to college and got my degree. Did some traveling. Not everything was bad.
I would have made some better choices if I hadn't been a dub, but I was often on the fringes of what they believed and encouaged all my children to go to college. Only one of my children feels it was detrimental to him and he has been out for 12 years. But it really is hard to figure how I could not see through the gaping holes in their doctrines.
I was lured by the promise of physical immortality. I was never going to have to experience death. I had discovered the ultimate truth. Powerful stuff.
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Kaput
I had discovered the ultimate truth. Powerful stuff.
If it were that easy. Unfortunately, it appears as if ultimate truth, although a reality, may never be found. Seems as if there are too many obstacles to finding it.
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Do Not Call
I was raised a JW, so for me it was all I knew.
It reminds me of The Truman Show; you just accept and believe the world you grow up in. You believe what your parents and friends say.
Whenever someone or something makes you begin to question, they are removed.
You have to 'sail to the end of the set and open the door to the real world' in order to see that the 'world'
you were raised in is a set-up.
That's how I felt, anyway.