You Have Embarrassed Us in Front of the Congregation (page 2)

anewme

Yes, when I read this it had a painful ring. You could never escape the crushing weight of criticism from all sides in the congregation and within your own family. You had to always play a role, the role you were expected to play. You had to always play some ideal person and shining example.
It has taken me many years to undo the tendency to act and play the role of an ideal Christian.
Years to learn to relax and just be myself.
I used to feel like I was always expected to SELL THE WATCHTOWER LIFESTYLE to all outsiders.
I was always anxious if my car looked unclean or my house or my shoes or if anything I said might be mistaken. I used to beat myself if my house and yard didnt look like the best on the block. I used to diet to the point of starvation so my weight did not detract from Jehovahs shining name. I got down to 104 lbs
one summer because the girl I was studying with told me that being fat was a "bad witness".
(Because of the emaciation I lost my period for 10 months until an older sister insisted I see a doctor about it.)
I wanted to please Jehovah and the elders and the congregation and my husband so much!
I wound up having a nervous breakdown of sorts after 35 years of this mental and emotional abuse.
Yeah, embarrassment and the threat of it is very real among the JWs.

Anewme

nsrn

I was about 10 years old and could pick out "Jehovah is our Refuge" on the piano. One elder who was especially nice and encouraging to me asked me to play it for the closing song one Thursday eve. I practiced and practiced. Then the night of the meeting, my dad said, "You aren't really going to play, are you? You'll embarass yourself and detract from the worship--it's not a recital, you know ." Well, I was too embarassed and scared to tell the elder that Dad said no, and I was terrified of pissing off my Dad by disobeying. When the time came, suddenly all eyes were on me. The elder who wanted me to play urged me foreward, and my Dad glared, I stumbled to the piano, butchered it, and hid in the back seat of the car until we finally went home. Got the expected "you embarassed us and Jehovah!"

Sparkplug

I was about 10 years old and could pick out "Jehovah is our Refuge" on the piano. One elder who was especially nice and encouraging to me asked me to play it for the closing song one Thursday eve. I practiced and practiced. Then the night of the meeting, my dad said, "You aren't really going to play, are you? You'll embarass yourself and detract from the worship--it's not a recital, you know ." Well, I was too embarassed and scared to tell the elder that Dad said no, and I was terrified of pissing off my Dad by disobeying. When the time came, suddenly all eyes were on me. The elder who wanted me to play urged me foreward, and my Dad glared, I stumbled to the piano, butchered it, and hid in the back seat of the car until we finally went home. Got the expected "you embarassed us and Jehovah!"

Now with this I was brought to tears. I am so sorry you had to deal with this.

Madame Quixote

Let us continue to embarass them, as they deserve. Their embarassment as an institution is well-earned by:

child abuse, child neglect, hiding sex abusers/pedophiles, denying education, denying everything, promoting damaging cult ideas while misrepresenting proper secular authority on health issues.

Only prisons need Watchtowers.

(Anewme)!!

(nsrm)!!

They were horrible to you too? I knew it wasn't just me.

5go

Not really but it seem to happen to my friends alot. I mean all but one was removed from being a pub, and that one later on after he got married had trouble from some of the premarital hanky panky.

inlove2

I'm not even a JW but I can tell that my husband is very concerned about the way I look and dress. I can tell he does not want me to be inappropriate in front of the congregation. I have been rebeling a little. Like the one day I wore a type of pant skirt to a bible study. He was like "well I don't want you to feel undressed" I said "I think, I look very nice and said I won't. It is so sad. What is he so scared of?

Xnived Shadow

When I bought my motorcycle I was "counsoled" by a sister she said I was disrespecting Jehovah everytime I rode. She also told the elders I was speeding all the time. I was!

AK - Jeff

I used to feel like I was always expected to SELL THE WATCHTOWER LIFESTYLE to all outsiders

Precisely.

I do not recall ever stating those words 'you have embarrassed us' to my daughter - but I am sure that I gave those vibes out loud and clear.

Part of that mentallity comes from the hyperbole that Jw's are a 'spectacle to the world'. They are truly a 'legend in their own minds' - not in the minds of others. They work hard at making the old axiom ' one cannot judge a book by it's cover' a false analogy. Dress, grooming, auto, home, demeaner, lauguage. These are considered to mark the person to another as the only true Christians. What it really proves is that we were the only 'truly brainwashed, think we are Christians'.

Most people are not that shallow, to believe that if one wears the wrong color shirt he is evil, are they?.

Jeff

You Have Embarrassed Us in Front of the Congregation

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