I am probably being ultra sensitive at this time ......., but I am recieving sympathy cards from our old Witness friends , and they are saying things such as : " When she wakes up she'll be looking for you ." and " We also must be resolved to fight to finish loyal to Jehovah even at great cost and pain. She will be waiting eagerly to see her family after her resurrection. It is worth whatever we must endure ." It amazes me the warped sense of reality they all share . They come out of the wood work to send a card in a tragedy .....yet they can't drive two blocks to see if your still alive . Or because you don't attend meetings anymore they don't know if it is permissable to wave at you when you pass them on the street .
It feels like emotional blackmail............
by troubled mind 11 Replies latest jw friends
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fifi40
Forgive them for their ignorance troubled mind, and then just forget them and concentrate on looking after yourself and those close to you.
Special thoughts to you
Fifi
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Xena
It feels like emotional blackmail because it IS emotional blackmail. My sisters tried that one on me a few times. "what will we tell mom and dad when they wake up and you aren't there???" Sick, isn't it? And the sheer presumption that they have...who the heck are they to judge me and mine???
I've resolved if they try it again to turn the tables on them. "Don't worry when I see mom and dad I'll tell them not to blame you for the way you treated me, you didn't know any better cause you're in a cult"
Sorry you are having to deal with this.
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misanthropic
It feels like emotional blackmail because it is. I've gotten tired of dealing with people playing on your emotions to try to get you to do what they think you should be doing. If their succeding in making you feel bad just remember this:
::They come out of the wood work to send a card in a tragedy .....yet they can't drive two blocks to see if your still alive .
That says a lot. -
dedpoet
Hi troubled mind, I am so sorry about your loss.
Your feelings are correct, what your jw friends are doing is indeed emotional blackmail. As I'm sure you know, while they knock on every door, and try to engage every householder in conversation, if they chance on someone who is obviously undergoing a traumatic experience, they go into overdrive. They see the persons obvious need for comfort as an opportunity to start a study, and maybe even make a disciple. I was guilty of it myself when I was a jw.
They are taking this opportunity to remind you of what they perceive you may lose by leaving the wts. They probably don't even see it as emotional blackmail, considering that they are still very much under the mind control that you have escaped from. To anyone outside the wts, it does look like a warped sense of reality, as you described it, but to them it's totally natural behaviour. I wouldn't judge them too harshly for it,they don't know any better, but I can well understand why you feel as you do about it, I would feel the same if it were me.
Take care
dedpoet
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becca1
Some people are insensitive others just tacky. Either way, be glad you are no longer that ignorant.
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Apostate Kate
What they have been brainwashed into believing is condolences, is merely rubbing salt in your broken heart.
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Blueblades
TM. Don't respond to those sympathy cards. They are not real. They are going through the motions. They are using your loss and grief to get you back into the fold.
I'm sorry that they are so insenstitve to you at this time of sadness for you.
Blueblades
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blondie
I would never have sent such a card even when I was a JW. It simply says to the person that they have been judged by you as dead already. I wonder if they would send such a card to a person who had never been a JW?
But then the WTS is judging all 6.5 billion non-JWs as soon to be dead forever, along with children, even babies.
Glad to be out.
(sorry about this sad time)
Blondie