I was raised as a JW from the age of 4, my father was an elder for 18 years, was a auxillary pioneer for years, been there done all that and decided to leave at age 30, I have chosen a pagan path and am very happy but sometimes I feel guilty for no reason, Does anyone else ever have this problem? If you do, how do you handle it?
guilt feelings sometimes
by amara 26 Replies latest jw experiences
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thebiggestlie
Im dealing with guilt right now.... i feel like somehow im turning on my family. My mother keeps telling me "dont you ever leave the truth. It would break my heart" How am i supposed to deal with that? I am confident that it isnt the truth and that she is being misled but how am i supposed to counter these feelings that im turning my back on her. Sorry that im not offering any help to you and i dont want to draw attention away from your feelings but i felt the need to vent. I hope the best for you in your life and hope you find your peace of mind.
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thebiggestlie
By the way! i almost didnt notice that that was your first post! welcome to the board :)
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JWdaughter
Welcome to the board.
When you say pagan-do you mean as in non-JW, non Christian, or Wiccan/earth worship?
Is your guilt because of doubt about what you left behind or because of the things you are doing now?
Do you feel guilty because of the breach it caused in the family or something you have actually done that you know is wrong-as a human being? Just curious as to where the guilt is coming from/directed at.
I hope you get more peace!
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Lumptard
Welcome
Just try to focus on your reasons for making the choices you made. Obviously you are convinced that it is not the truth, so try to look at it from the point of view that whatever guilt that comes from your current lifestyle is just a residual instinct from your many years as a JW. The JWs have a very effective program that stays in our mind and heart long after we are out.
Maybe analyze under what circumstances you start to feel guilty and try to address those instances from a logical standpoint. Kind of like after you see a scary movie, your instinct is to be afraid of your shadow but you can dissolve that by thinking rationally and reassuring yourself that you know the truth about your experience.
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I.Wonder
Hi amara!
Yes I have feelings of guilt as well! I am still "in" the borg (for family). I do on occasion drop by some pagan dicussion boards. I do not claim to be pagan but I do lean towards more pagan beliefs, always have even as a kid.
To deal with the guilt I just remind myself that the JW religion is based on fear and guilt. Since both of those things are/were hammered into us as dubs it will take some time to free ourselves of those feelings.
When I feel guilty or afraid I chalk it up to the "de-programming" process. I'm giving myself time and space to deal with it. Be gentle with yourself and in time those feelings will subside. I feel for you amara, I wish you the very best!
IW
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JamesThomas
Live in peace knowing that a tiny tribal war god is in no way responsible for the reality of conscious existence.
j
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JamesThomas
Oh, and WELCOME!
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PEC
It takes time to free yourself from this cult, guilt is what they want you to feel. Check out the "Best of", this will help realize that the "Truth" is not the truth.
Philip
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fullofdoubtnow
Hi amara, and welcome to the forum.
I felt guilty about almost everything I did that I wouldn't have done as a jw when I first left. It is only to be expected, the whole wts teaching programme is designed to make you feel that way, to feel that whatever you do, you are never good enough to be in their organisation, and when you leave that you have deserted the true god for something inferior. It's a control mechanism, and it works very well, obviously.
Nowadays, I don't feel guilty about very much at all, those feelings have passed for me, as they will for you. In the meantime, stay with us, keep posting and, especially,keep reading. You will find genuine love and friendship here, and no one who will attempt to make you feel guilty for the choices you have made.
Linda