by nonamegiven 36 Replies latest jw experiences
"Dear Holier-Than-Thou Brothers,"
Nope...that won't do at all.
Like Lovelylil said: The elders love to feel superior to everyone else, so you may want to somehow "stroke" their ego too.
Here's a good ego stroking salutation: Dearest Holy Spirit Directed Glorious Ones,
Yeah, I know... but, that's what purple robed JW Judges like to think about themselves.
Good luck on a successful fade !
Rabbit
Hi nng.
Since I've been through (successfully!??) the reinstatement process, and also have had problems with addiction (alcohol), perhaps I may therefore be so bold as to ask:
Are you sure that your physical addiction is not a symptom of an underlying addictive personality? If so, then reinstatement will simply promote that addiction, and will not help you come to grips with the physically addictive aspect of your life.
I mean this sincerely, and not in any way as an aspersion on your motives or character.
Craig
Lovelylil is right - you need to sound like a lot more humble than this! magnify your humility twenty fold and you will nearly be there.
If you want the letter to help you get reinstated, you have to sound as repentent and humble as possible. The elders love to feel superior to everyone else, so you may want to somehow "stroke" their ego too. Tell them something like: I will leave the decision in your hands knowing Jehovah will guide you brothers with his spirit, to make the right decision. (yuck, I can't believe I am saying this).
And like someone else said if its only been five months don't expect a favourable response = especially when it involves an addiction which implies repeated offending. Did you stop the addiction the second you were df-ed?
Totally take out the word "CONFIDENTLY" - you have to sound as contrite as possible. Also its much much better if the elders come and ask you to submit a reinstatement letter - you are kind of guaranteed a yes then. The more it looks like it is their idea the better. Another little used trick is to go to the meeting before field service at the hall on a Saturday morning - just so you can bear near your brothers and get a chance to feel God's love! Tell them you completely trust in them as God's spirit appointed men and you happily leave everything in Jehovah's hands.
Wow!
Since you're writing a letter of reinstatement that must mean you have been regularly attending meetings for the past five months. Right?.....I can't imagine.
I admire the iron stomach you have, but can't even really identify how you are able to do this since you now know the truth about the "truth".
To each his own and we all must do what we feel necessary,...so good luck with all that you are dealing with.
However,...I can't help but think about what your relationship with your family will be like once you are reinstated and have completed your fade.
I.E.- I DA'd myself 14 yrs ago and haven't had a relationship with my mom and two of my brothers since then. I also have two other brothers who were never baptised and have faded and been out now for some time. I can't really say that my brothers have a good relationship with our mom or our brothers that are still in. My mom and brothers don't completely shun them but because they are no longer "believers" a wall has been put up that has hindered a close genuine relationship.
WOW,
I wish I had this site when I was 13 and DF'D, it feels like cheat sheets.LOL In regards to the one year comment, when I first wrote my letter it was 6 months in and the elders read from that little book of theres saying it said "MANY MONTHS", they did not think 6 was many (who were they to say. I went back to them in my 8th month and that was enough. MORAL OF THE STORY= 8 months is MANY months.LOL
I can truly understand your desire to regain your family. I almost did this myself, since I was DF'd for similar things. However, at the time, I wanted out so I could continue my lifestyle and not live a double life. I realized going into the JC meeting that I potentially would lose my immediate family. My only advice is this: Live for yourself. Just because your family is happy, you have to ask yourself: Am I truly happy? Losing a family is probably the worst thing one has to go through in their life. I just think that you're getting into this to appease others instead of truly making your life as happy as possible. I always thought that familial love was unconditional. Your family should ALWAYS love you, no matter what. They just don't have to love the way you live your life or the path you choose. But to make conditions of this love, such as following a religion that has been proven time & time again to be false, is not really love (in my opinion.) I commend you for getting over your struggles with whatever dependency you had. It takes great courage and a will to help yourself like that, so congratulations! Please don't take what I say as any means of disrespect, but from someone who is currently in your situation, please make sure YOU are happy... then you can worry about everyone else.
Althought writing some of that stuff in there made me want to puke, what do you think about thisi?
Renee
I am writing this letter to request reinstatement. While this time of discipline has been hard for myself as well as my family, it has proven Hebrews 12:11 true to me. In the last number of months I have had much work to do. Despite increasing work loads and family commitments, it is clear to myself and my family that I have truely humbled myself before Jehovah. I have found a new level of respect for Jehovah and his laws. I find myself praying to him not only more often now, but much more heartfelt than I knew was even possible a year or so ago. I constantly ask for his forgiveness and mercy. I study for more meetings now than I have for quite a few years and while I would rather not travel for work, I am happy to attend meetings while on the road or get in on the "phone hook-up" when I can’t attend. I hope all of you elders can understand my situation as I have been struggling very hard to do what is upright in Jehovah's eyes. I had to fully realize that as Hebrews 12:6 says, Jehovah disciplines those who he loves. This was a major help and comfort for me. I had to follow the admonition at Col. 3:5 and deaden my body members.
I prayed to Jehovah for help beating this problem of mine for years to no avail. I thought I didn’t deserve his help or holy spirit and allowed myself to slip further into my addiction. It was only a year or so ago that I realized I couldn’t wait to feel Jehovah’s help first, THEN put forth the effort to help myself. I had to dilligently put forth and effort first. As I did that, I soon noticed my life changing for the better. I prayed, and still pray to Jehovah continually and I hope that I have been forgiven by Jehovah.
Through prayer and the encouragement from the disfellowshipping, I am trusting in Jehovah. I also keep Col. 3:7 in mind, "In those very things you, to, once walked when you used to live in them". I can finally say I "once walked" like that. That has helped me draw close to Jehovah more than ever before. After a lifetime of failing to control oneself, after failed attempts to stop doing something you don’t even WANT to do, after a lifetime of this to finally be able to say that I am living as Jah commanded is a blessing I didn’t know was possible. I deeply regret what I have done to myself, to my family, to Jehovah and his congregation. I don’t know if I can ever remove the reproach I have brought on him and his congregation and I feel great sorrow for this.
With this changed attitude I began to truly change my life in more ways than one. So now I can confidently ask to be reinstated into the Christian congregation so I can experience Jehovah’s love and forgiveness openly with my brothers and sisters. I will leave the decision in your hands knowing Jehovah will guide you brothers with his spirit, to make the right decision.
I'd say keep it short and simple. Too many words won't help. If you don't mind, I took out my editing pen and came up with this:
Dear Brothers,
I am writing this letter to request reinstatement. While this time of discipline has been hard for myself as well as my family, it has proven Hebrews 12:11 true to me. I have found a new level of respect for Jehovah and his laws. While I would rather not travel for work, I am happy to attend meetings while on the road or get in on the “phone hook-up” when I can’t attend. I have come to fully realize that as Hebrews 12:6 says, Jehovah disciplines those who he loves. This has been a major help and comfort for me.
Through prayer and counseling, I am able to keep making strides. Only with Jehovah’s help have I been able to stop my addictive behavior. I deeply regret what I have done to myself, to my family, to Jehovah and his congregation. I wish to be reinstated into the Christian congregation so I can experience Jehovah’s love and forgiveness openly with my brothers and sisters.
Respectfully,
Nonamegiven
Renee and Gopher, Brilliant!
But I would add to it my thoughts in ending:
I know Jehovah with his Spirit will guide you brothers in making the right decision. Therefore, I trust my fate to your competent hands. (Barf....)
You need to give them a little ego boost. I knew one sister who truly was repentent but the elders refused to reinstate her until she cried hysterically and practically got down on her knees and kissed their feet. Lilly
I deeply regret what I have done to myself, to my family, to Jehovah and his congregation.
I would re-word this sentence - "I deeply regret what I have done to Jehovah, His Organization, my family, and myself."
