So I live in Indiana, and we got a lot of snow the other day. So I come home from work and it is really pretty bad out, but I've lived in Indiana a long time and I've driven in snow and it's not hard you just need to be careful.
So I go to the meeting (yeah I'm DFd I told all you guys this). I get to the parking lot and it's all cleared off. Yeah, and no one is there. Nice. Real nice, the elders there have my number and could have easily informed me of this. It's really funny that the whole lot was cleared but that wasn't enough to make the meeting happen??
It's been pretty trying, considering I'm steadily there week in and out, one thing I noticed is I don't know who half the congo is because they never show up. When they do I go in my mind "who is that" and then I see them again a few weeks later. Yeah, I'm pretty convinced that most who are still JWs don't really care or believe in what they are doing and are just hiding out because they are afraid of living in the real world.
And a lot of people ask me why I still go. Because, I do take my worship of Jehovah seriously, not that I agree with everything, as a victim of child abuse I would definitely not agree with a lot of things. But I know when I don't go I don't read my Bible, I don't pray, and I don't participate in my own spirituality, but if I do I at least take in the scriptures, and I've gotten good at blocking nonsense out so it's actually pretty easy.
Still, it's testing when you know you care more than the people there do but yet you're the one treated like you aren't, like you just are not. I just can't stand that stuff, I grew up around a lot of kids who didn't care for anything but themselves, would hide out as a JW and act like they were the ultimate moral compass. You know, people who have to say "I'm a good person" to convince themselves that somehow it's real, it's true.
I have weird thoughts while I sit there at the meeting. Like "what if I just started talking to someone, what would happen" or "maybe I should raise my hand just to stir something up" or "maybe I should just walk up to one of these punk kids and tell them to get real and be who they really are" or "I should walk up to the elder who runs our bookstudy who sits on the stage in the dead center in a soft sofa chair like it's some kind of throan and makes everyone else sit below him, and just tell him he is a real piece of garbage"
Sigh...............