Hello friends, my name is Daniel, I was baptized a Catholic a few months after I was born but I don't practice. I'm having personal problems and I'd like you to give me some insight. I'm in love with a wonderful devoting girl who happens to be a Jehovah Witness. Though she is also in love with me, her parents claim that she couldn't ever have a relationship with me, even though I have a deep respect for her beliefs and agree with all JW moral's behavior and orientation -- as I'm a conservative person as well. They know me pretty well and I'm assured they do know I'm a good person, but the fact that I'm not a JW seals it all. I'm even studying Watchtower's material (she sent me some), but that isn't helping at all. Not with her parents, not with finding an explanation to it. Even though we couldn't date or see each other, we still talked often because our love is real and pure, and we can't stand living without each other. That was my little shine of hope, until her parents also prohibed her from maintaining often contact with me AND from showing any demonstration of love towards me. That made me pretty sad and depressed. More than that, that made me lose interest from reading JW's material, cause I felt really hurt. I am deeply sad with all my heart and crying a lot for the last few days, because I know she's the love of my life and I'm watching her go away. I heard about false Gods and I'm a true God seeker and believer. I always tell her to stay loyal to God and to her parents. I'd like to know your oppinion about that, if you would. Do you think its right? Thank you for your attention. Best regards, Daniel
Jehovah Witnesses and love
by DanielBrazil 14 Replies latest jw friends
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Sad emo
Welcome Daniel,
I'd say consider yourself to have had a lucky escape. I know that won't make you feel much better though - but whoever said love was easy?!
You'll find a collection of experiences similar to yours here, I hope they help:
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Dansk
Hi Daniel and Welcome,
You don't say how old you and your girlfriend are. This is important!
You are right to say that your girlfriend should respect her parents - but when the parents are wrong (JW beliefs are NOT Bible-based) then I feel you have a right to be aggrieved! If your girlfriend is determined to remain a JW then, painful as it is, you MUST move on because there'd be no real future in your relationship. If, on the other hand, your girlfriend is willing to renounce her JW indoctrinated beliefs to be with you you have a chance.
Stick around and read many of the posts here to get a flavour of the heinous cultish hold that is Jehovah's Witnesses. Show your girlfriend, too!
Here's my own story: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/47295/1.ashx
I wish you well,
Ian
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jgnat
How old is she? Is she living at home? How old are you? How often have you felt like this?
I can give better advice if I understand how dependent she is on her parents. You are right, regardless of your spirituality, morality, and conservatism, you are not "good enough" for her parents if you are not a JW. They are simply following Watchtower advice.
Have the parents judged you fairly?
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carla
Consider yourself lucky. The jw's are a very dangerous cult, please do your research before getting anymore involved with her. There are many fish in the sea and she was just one of many. You say this is pure love, really? You can't associate with her, talk to her, touch her, etc... sounds like you are in lust of her not love, you don't even know her. Even if you become a jw and hand over your brain to them (as is required) you will never be good enough, nobody is for jw's. Is this girl enough to hand over your very life for?
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DanielBrazil
Hi guys I'm 21 years old and my (ex-)girlfriend is 16. She doesn't have the strenght to go against her parents thoughts yet...And she lives with them. Plus, here in Brazil you're only responsible by your acts when you're 18. I know her for 3 years now (as a friend) and started to get more envolved to her within the past year. We've been together for somewhat 1 month than she talked to her parents and it all came crashing down. Its been 4 months since we last kissed, I sent her flowers yesterday but she acted like I had sent her a brownie. The worst thing is: she says that she still loves me so much but that shes acting like this for Jehovah. That makes it a billion times harder to forget her and let go (knowing that she loves me). That's pretty sad. As I read on Dansk's thread, I also lost my apetite and I can't sleep at night (and when I do, surprise: nightmares about her leaving me forever). So thats pretty much a constant thought in my head. Yes, I think her parents really judge me, to say the least, unfairly. I'm responsible with my life and even though I'm young I happen to take care of my family as my father's got a severe disease. They know that. Thank you SO MUCH for helping me go through this dark moment in my life. Daniel
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minimus
Daniel, you sound like a good catch for someone (else). First, she's way too young!!! You're still a young man too. Find out more about life rather than being consumed with what you believe is the love of your life. When I was 16, I thought I knew who was going to be my soulmate. Ha! At 21, you've still got a lot to learn about life. The parents are doing the right thing because she's too young and impressionable to begin with. IF you're meant to be, give it time. Time will surely tell all.
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jaguarbass
Well, young man, it sounds to me like you may be thinking with your little head more than your big head. Have you ever read Romeo and Juliet? There are many fish in the sea. Once enough water goes over the dam you forget about all of the ones that got away. If none of that makes sense to you. Start attending meetings, you could be baptized in 6 months and married in 8. Don't bring your blood realatives into the publishing company. That way you will have less emotional baggage to deal with down the road. America is built on divorce. Not to say that you will end up divorced. I married a beautiful JW girl and I've been married 34 wonderful years. Life is the journey not the destination. If you go down the jw road with her I can tell you you will have a journey. I dont know where your destination will be other than it wont be in a paradise earth. No carbon based units are eligible for that destination at this time. Daniel, I don't know how old you are. If you are under 18 and still in public school disregard my second paragraph.
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avidbiblereader
Welcome Daniel, I agree with Minimus 100% on this, give it time and during the time check out as much as you can on JW and ask yourself a huge question
Can you live with the rules and regs that you don't know YET, because they will police your bedroom conduct, your actions, your attitude, everything about you and your mate. I am not being mean nor am I filled with anger but you ought to know you are not marrying the girl you are marrying the elders, the GB and everyone else's beliefs, Trust me when I say this. Just being honest, if you can live with that, then wait and move on your love of your life. But even at 18, when you get my age, you will realize you dont know squat even at 45 and especially at 18-25. I wish you the best.
abr
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fullofdoubtnow
Hi Daniel, and welcome to the forum.
As painful a thought as this may be, I feel that you should move on. There are plenty of other girls out there who won't be involved with a mind - controlling cult, which is what the jehovahs witnesses are. If you choose to try to carry on this relationship, and it sounds like that would involve you becoming a jw, then you may gain a wife, but you would be losing much more than that. Once you become a jw, the organisation would expect you to surrender control of virtually every aspect of your life to them. Is any girl really worth paying that sort of price for?