Ever gotten to the point you don't want to date then....

5go

I wanted to get married mainly for you know what finally after all the crap that happened in my early tweenties I gave up. Now a lady is bugging me to date her I want to but, I am so screwed up right now from all the other girls I tried to persuit, and she has kids to boot which I am basicaly afraid of. Not because they are bad mainly because of my past and the fact I am a not sure of myself as a mature adult.

Warlock

Go ahead, marry the girl.

Warlock

nicolaou

Sounds like you need some time and space for yourself mate! Why is this woman so insistent? Is she looking for help with her kids? I'd take it nice and slow, if you like her take her out but make sure she knows where you're at.

Crumpet

Trust your gut instinct and back away a bit. You know you aren't ready and how painful would it be for those kids - not just you and her to make any rash decisions.

Being single is so much more uncomplicated. I really enjoy being alone and its excellent opportunity to work on yourself and getting a bit more mature. If you are scared of the kids - you aren't ready to play daddy to them for sure!

looking_glass

Why does it have to be all or nothing. Why can't you date and take your time to do it. Just cause you date someone does not mean that you have to marry them. If want to date her, date her. But make it clear that you are NOT ready to get married. I also would encourage you to not get to know her kids until you are ready to really be a part of her and their lives. Take your time, it is not a race. So if you date and then you don't really care to date her anymore, you are just breaking up with her and not her kids as well.

mama1119

Im with crumpet on this one. Trust your gut, if you are not ready, don't push it. And she is right..being single can be such a great time in your life. Try not to be consumed with who you are going to date next, just take time to be by yourself.

Sad emo

What Crumpet said!! And there's nothing stopping you from just being friends for now.

Also what nicolau said - is there a reason why she's coming across as 'desperate'? I found myself in the situation he suggests, several years back - a guy with 2 kids was dating me but it turned out he was just doing it to get an advantage in the custody battle for the kids - not fair on me or them

5go

I think everyone but glass is stuck in dub world she doesn't want to marry me she wants to date me, and technicaly we have been just not on purpose.

She just wants some planned ones now.

And it's been six to nine months from when she left her exfiancee. Who was cheating on her with their (pregant by her fiancee) roomate. It's been a three years sence the dub pioneer girl dumped me. Thank god she did.

I have been playing hard to get with her and another between the two she the one I would go for kids or not.

This really wouldn't be an issue if I didn't live at home with my parents one whose a witness. I wouldn't feel bad one bit about dating her.

Abandoned

Well, buddy, you have to do what you're comfortable with. Relationships take effort and dedication to succeed so if you aren't up to that right now, maybe it's better to lay low. If you are up to the challenge, then you need to spend some time finding out what this person thinks about the things that are MOST important to you. If you are on opposite sides of an issue neither of you really cares about, there isn't going to be much underlying tension, but is she's diametrically opposed to what you hold dearest in your heart, you're setting yourself up for some drama.

As for me, I'm on hiatus from dating right now. I have some books to publish and a financial mess to rise up and soar high above before I'm going to be thinking about romance again.

Good luck...

G Money

Run and don´t look back. There are so many options out there. Why complicate your life?

Ever gotten to the point you don't want to date then....

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