I had a bad night saturday...

megsmomma

I have an 8 yr old living with her JW dad and step mom. My WORST fear is that they won't let us talk. I call her every couple days and I hadn't talked to her for a couple weeks. I was worried they knew I was apostate to their religion and were keeping us apart. Well, she finally called me saturday and we talked for over an hour. It was so nice. One thing that was weird is that she doesn't remember losing her baby teeth. (We were talking about her lil sissy teething) I guess it is a non-event for Jdub kids...no tooth fairy, nothing special. There is nothing special about being raised as a JW.

Anyways....After we spoke I was overwhelmingly sad and mad at myself.....How could I have left her in that????? It was almost better when I thought the jw's were right, and I was going to die, so she was in the best place for her. Now that I know she is in a cult, fullof pediphiles and brainwashing....I feel so bad. I felt like I had noright tobe happy and have a good life....I should suffer for leaving her.

I am ok now, and my husband really took care of me during my freak-out.... but, man I wish I could do SOMETHING to get her out now.

Rooster

Prayer is powerful. Try it.

megsmomma

Thanks Rooster....I do pray for her and her dad and step-mom.I know they are all mislead...and I wish they all would find out reality and life would be better for all. Sometimes it is hard to wait to see the fruits of prayer though.

Crumpet

Oh megsmomma - I can;t imagine how painful being seperated from your baby must be. Is there no way you could get custody or is she happier and settled where she is?

megsmomma

Thank Crumpet....

It has been too long for me to even try to get custody. When I left she was not even 1...I had bad PP depression and went crazy...leaving Jdubs, baby, hubby, dogs, home all at once. I was very suicidal. I gave up all custody because I thought she was better off that way. I even asked my JW mom to adopt her. It was a crazy time.

The good thing is that her JW parents love her. Her step mom was married to her dad when she was 17. (UGH) However...my daughter and her get along very well...and they spend a-lot of time together when he is at all his studies and elder meetings. I just wish I had done things different and I wish I knew then what I know now, ya know,

VanillaMocha73

I left my baby behind for about a year. Never imagined that I would be able to get him back, but God made sure I did. (So far, at least - the legal battles are ongoing of course). The worst is that he is still being brainwashed by JW abusive dad on the weekends. Anyway, it is good that you still call her and have contact. If it is good this far, you will probably be able to keep it up and rescue her gently. Just keep praying and showing her real love. (Not the conditional WT love).

megsmomma

Vanilla....I am so glad you got your son back. I know it must still be hard when they have to go to get brainwashed on the weekends. I guess we have the same job of balancing things out. I try to do that with my daughter. Thanks for the encouragment.

JWdaughter

I'm sorry for your situation. Us moms know what you must be feeling-heck, so do the dads! I know you feel guilty, I know the JW parents love her(GoOD!), but these days, courts are very intent on keeping children with their parents and making sure that parents have equitable situations with the child. People can come out of prison and sue for custody, they can abuse and GET custody, they can give them up for adoption and get them back. I think much of it is nuts, but a lot of that liberality comes from the common sense of letting a mom see her child or raise her child after having a life changing experience. Clearly you have had that. And you don't seem to have been anything more than confused and ill when you gave up custody. While not removing her entirely-not good-I think you should negotiate or fight for regular visits. She needs to know her mom well. Needs to know her sister. And her stepdad. And your ex needs to know that you have matured and are capable of taking care of her.

megsmomma

JWDaughter.....Those are some really good points. I would like to know I have some say in her life....and not worry about them being able to "wisk her away" at any moment. I will look into getting some joint custody, so I no longer have to worry about that. Thank you so much!

Man....that would change my prospective!! I can't believe I never thought about that!!

Crumpet

I would say if you have a stable family life now and yoru doctor can verify you had severe post partum depression then you stand a very good chance of joint custody but if you could bring your ex hubby on board slowly so he supported it as best for your daughter that would be ideal.

I had a bad night saturday...

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