Just a bit of background first: My pal Ray works as a barman in a nearby village social club. Sometimes he enjoys a pint in my pub, and sometimes talks with my estranged pal, Dub-in-the-pub. Some years ago he married Lucy, a vivacious middle-aged lady with something of a reputation. Lucy was a DF'd JW. Ray has never been interested in the JW religion, Ray is too fond of his Guinness.
After the marriage, Lucy applied to be re-instated and was succesful. As a now very holy and righteous sort of person, she then decided that Ray ought to at least behave like a dub husband should, even if he wasn't going to be a dub. (Lucy can be a determined person).
Lucy often gets angry with Ray, and as she is the legal owner of their house, frequently throws him out when they argue. She also reveals much of their personal life to an elder, who just happens to be Dub-in-the-pub. Consequently, Ray often tells Dub-in-the-pub to "Poke his religion up his arse" should they co-incide with each other when drinking in the pub. He also tells him that all elders are wankers, much to everyone else's amusement.
Over the weekend all hell broke loose. Ray, in a burst of humanity, cooked Lucy some sausages for her breakfast before going off to work in his club. Later in the day however, he was astonished to be confronted by the arrival of 2 police officers who turned up at the club who said that he was being accused of attempting to murder his wife by feeding her poisoned sausages, and that it was his wife Lucy who was pressing charges!
Ray was taken aback somewhat, and the police told him that they would not arrest him until a full forensic investigation of the sausages had taken place, and meanwhile he was to stay away from Lucy.
Ray booked himself into a nearby hotel to await developments.Then - would you believe it (!)- Last night Lucy phoned him to tell him that she had made up the story to get him into trouble, what should she do?
Ray thought quickly and said that she must immediately inform the police and the local elders of what she had done pronto!
Now thats as far as the story had gone by midnight yesterday, I'm sure though that this is an event that will run for some time.
Will Ray be proven innocent?
Will Lucy be DF'd for lying?
Will Lucy be prosecuted for wasting police time and making a false statement?
Will Dub-in-the-pub become involved?
How can this Englishman put in his 2 pennyworth?
For the answer to these questions folks, tune in to this web-site tomorrow!
Englishman.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....