Why is it everytime.....

by WANTMOMBACK 20 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  BrentR

  My mom was positive that I would never even have to go to school before the system would end. I graduated 24 yrs ago. So any time she brings up anything with the "the end is comming" I just remind her about what she was so sure of 40 years ago. It stops it dead cold, in fact I am starting to pick up that it is actually triggering some doubt at times.

  Whatever happened to the "declaring peace and security and then sudden destruction"? How close is our planet to declaring peace and security? Not very close IMHO.
• 

  What-A-Coincidence

  gotta change her 'filtering system' and reframe her thinking

  wac of the "reframed a 30 year old borg member and is now released from the bonds"
• 

  Frannie Banannie

  Here, WMB....try these earplugs........
• 

  BlackPearl

  

  Or you could get one of these, Caller ID and you screen her calls.

  BP
• 

  Scully

  You could make a point of only discussing the positive and exciting advances in science and human relations.

  "Hey, Mom, this story about stem cell research helping people with spinal cord injury / Parkinson's disease, etc. is just amazing. Let me read it to you!"

  "The stories I've been reading about how people volunteered to help victims of (hurricane, tsunami, flooding, etc) really give me a good feeling about humanity and our ability to overcome adversity."

  "I'm truly humbled by the compassion and selflessness of people who volunteer to look after the homeless / battered women / search for missing children, etc."

  When you constantly reinforce that people (not only JWs) are capable of behaving with great kindness, compassion, and with a purpose of helping others, it tears down the mental barriers that the WTS has created in the JW brain. It takes a while for a JW to "compute" that generally people are genuine and good and capable of extraordinary compassion for others, instead of being wicked, selfish, greedy, etc.
• 

  sass_my_frass

  Some people hurt us more by being in our lives than by excluding us from them.
• 

  WANTMOMBACK

  Thanks for all the great advice! I have one more quick question. Why is it that whenever you speak to a JW about another religion they look as though they are going to throw up on you? My mom will either snicker like THEY are all crazy or tell me a big long reason of why this religion or that religion is bad.
• 

  IsaacJS2

  Don't know about your Mom, but when my JW wife starts griping about the hypocrisy or evils of other faiths, I quickly point out similar complaints about her own. I don't get too wound up, but sorta take a "Yeah, but to be fair, you know that some say the same about you guys" approach.

  That usually shuts her right down because she doesn't want to hear about it. (Facts are such naughty thoughts to put in someone's brain, you know) If she gets mad, I point out that it's true--critics see it that way. If she can pick on them, they can pick on her for the same reasons. Sometimes, she admits that she can see why others might think that. That's about as good as it ever gets with her on the WT, but I'll take it. At least she's being reasonable when says this.

  IsaacJ
• 

  Madame Quixote

  WANTMOMBACK asked,"Why is it that whenever you speak to a JW about another religion they look as though they are going to throw up on you? My mom will either snicker like THEY are all crazy or tell me a big long reason of why this religion or that religion is bad."

  In my opinion, the answer to why jws maintain any of their beliefsand attitudes about the outside world, especially about other religionsis simple: constant negative reinforcement, along with occasional positive reinforcement for promoting and maintaining such beliefs.

  The constant reinforcement comes from meetings, field service and maintaining little or no contact with outside "worldly" people.

  That's why Scully and I suggest more positvist approaches to her.

  Avoidance of negativity works to keep you sane, as others have suggested. Screening calls is a wonderful tool for maintaining sanity. If she's visiting, you can remind her to keep her negativity to herself - repeatedly remind her.

  She may not even realize how negative she is until you do that.

  Sorry about the red; I can turn it on, but cannot turn it off. grrrr
• 

  BlackSwan of Memphis

  Madame Quixote! I Love those links. I already have one of those on my favorites.

  I had gotten sooooo tired of hearing all this bad news. After reading some posts here about this very topic regarding "things are soo bad" I googled positive news, good news etc and came up with similar listings.

  There are So many good things happening out there.

  To start with:

  In the 14th century the Black Death killed millions of people. Millions! Now? Our technology is so effing brilliant, that when it struck in Nambia in 1999, how many had died? By the time this article was written 3.

  Here's the article

  Point being, I see that the world has made so much progress. As far as the lack of love between people.

  A point can be made about how far we have come in the last century. We may have a long way to go. But there was a time when women had no rights and both women and children were the property of Men. Now, women, in many countries, though not all, have the privilege to vote, hold office and own land, as well as know that their bodies are their own. Children are not things any more, they are little human beings who require love and affection and don't deserve to be beaten just because their dad "owns" them.

  Try not to let it get to you. But if you can arm yourself with knowledge before your next conversation, you might be able to find yourself a few good conversation Stoppers yourself.

  Good luck.