for I will die at Armageddon which in case you haven't heard is just around the corner - maybe tomorrow in fact.
I'd wait 'til tomorrow, see if you're right. Then... I'd devise a plan to get myself emotionally well. I'd start by spending time on this forum, reading all the "Best of..." series of posts. This will help you realize you are not alone, that countless others share your feelings, and that recovery is not only possible but likely. Then I'd take inventory and decide what I needed to do to get well. That might mean seeing a therapist. But whether you seek therapy or just do a lot of reading and soul-searching, you do need to be open to discovery. Good luck on your journey.