A Fledging Relationship Goes Up In Smoke
It was 1973 and the WT was in full cult mode. They wanted to purify the organization in preparation for the coming "great day of Jehovah." And so it was that in the late spring of 1973 an edict came down from the Governing Body in the form of a WT article entitled Keeping God’s Congregation Clean in the Time of His Judgment stating that anyone who smoked cigarettes or had any major involvement with the tobacco industry, whether farming, manufacture or retail had six months to abandon it or else be disfellowshipped.
My Dad smoked.
Now mind you I had never seen him so much as light up. He was careful never to expose his family to his habit. But that was not enough.
I remember the night well. It was a Wednesday evening in 1974. I had a talk on the TMS, my Dad had a judicial hearing. It was held during the meeting. I remember Tom Miles, then press operator, now member of the Writing Department being on the Committee and making the announcement. My Dad didn't even stay to hear it. He went home. I remember when we got home us saying little to him as he worked on the family car. He was now a non-entity. Though he paid all of the bills, kept a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs he was to be shunned. In fact he was soon to die in 1975. My Mom later told me that he had begged for a Bible Study to help him quit, to help him keep his family, to no avail. That night I lost what little I had of my father.
Living in NYC is tough. The cost of living is high. So my Dad compensated. He worked nights (funny so do I), he loved to drive (so do I), and he loved current events (so do I). So he started doing a second job. He would subcontract for Newsweek delivering negatives for print, and delivering subscriptions to executives in the Connecticut area. It involved driving from New York to D.C, and crisscrossing SouthEastern Connecticut. To this day I love Newsweek and driving particularly on the New Jersey Turnpike between NYC and DC. He would always take us with him as this work was done on weekends. But...as I said earlier my Mom followed the WT rules to the letter. This made for some strange interaction between us and my Dad. He was relegated to the status of chauffeur. We were not supposed to talk to him about non-spritual matters. But we had nothing else to talk about. So for my personal entertainment the back seat of the car was setup with whatever toys I was allowed to have, and we carried tons of cassette recordings. Recordings of conventions, special talks, Bible dramas. These would also serve to feed my Dad spiritually and help bring him back in, or so my Mom's thinking went. Why to this day I know large portions of the Bible and numerous Bible dramas from the conventions of those years by heart due to the fact that I heard them over and over again. Conversation with my Dad? Zero. Though we rode together for literally thousands of miles, we rarely spoke. This segment of my story should be longer. But due to the cruel and unmerciful policy of disfellowshipping, I know very little about my Dad, and am only now starting to try to rectify that. And with my leaving the organization there is a chance that now he will shun me. If that happens I may very well have lost my father forever. First to my shunning him, then to his shunning me.
To the Governing Body, from a father to men most of whom have never had children I say this: For all the fathers and sons, mothers and daughters who were made childless and parentless due to your policies I truthfully and sincerely hope that you rot in the hottest hell forever, which would still not be long enough.
tsof
My Journey-A Fledgling Relationship Goes Up In Smoke
by truthsetsonefree 16 Replies latest jw experiences
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truthsetsonefree
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found-my-way
tsof,
I hope you and your dad can reconnect again
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mia_b
Thats sad - I hope you can start a relationship with your father. I always wanted one and still do. I love him (but cant forgive him?!) but i dont think he loves me.
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Junction-Guy
Thank you for sharing this with us, why would he shun you now? unless of course he was reinstated. If not, then he would probably be happy you are free from it.
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Dismembered
Greetings truthsetsonefree,
Another very sobering life story due to that dispicable, cult The Watchtower. Thanks for sharing. It will help lurkers here understand and see just how divisive and maniacal their edicts are. So possibly some good will come out of you sharing it. Thanks tsof.
Dismembered
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truthsetsonefree
Dismembered, you got it.
Junction-guy, since I've faded I have been marked. My brother ratted me out, but prematurely before he got sufficient proof. My Dad actually believes that the Borg have helped him, how I have no idea. He has resumed calling me though, which is a good sign. Of course what does his poor inactive soul want to discuss? Meeting attendance!!! Oh Vey!
tsof
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Junction-Guy
Has he been reinstated? --If not, then why would he feel the need to shun you, unless he is just doing it for revenge. It's been 33 years since 1974, if he still hasnt been reinstated, then what gives him the right to jusge you?
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truthsearcher
TSOF:
That is a very sad story that makes me want to weep! My father is so precious to me and I thank God for his strong and stable influence on me over the years. I hope you will have many chances to pursue with Dad those things that bond you together, like your mutual loves. It must be neat to realize that despite the past, you are still your father's son. Will he talk about the past with you? Can you explore together what you have BOTH missed out on by his DFing for smoking, and the borgs lack of practical help?
anyone who smoked cigarettes or had any major involvement with the tobacco industry, whether farming, manufacture or retail had six months to abandon it or else be disfellowshipped.
Don't they now own stock in the tobacco industry? Maybe the GB should be DFed for their sinful behaviour...
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ex-nj-jw
If that happens I may very well have lost my father forever. First to my shunning him, then to his shunning me.
tsof, I take it that now your dad is a jdub???
nj
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becca1
Put the story you just posted in letter form (omit the rot in hell part), and send it to your dad. If he has any feelings at all it will melt his heart.
You must be out of your mind! Nobody enjoys the drive from NYC to DC!!!