by magdalenefan 14 Replies latest jw friends
To jump in and proclaim Jesus was married, must seem strange, coming from someone divorced, I must believe in something. Mostly going over what went wrong and why.
If I shown more love, etc, etc.
But I wonder if the Witnesses was like the rolling iron crush ball smashing into the demolishing building. I am trying to think, blame them? Or blame myself, or blame both? Or I dont know..
Completely destroyed the first one and I don't get the JW factor in the second one, and yes it is great now. The witnesses need to learn to stop policing every action by their followers and keep their noses out of other peoples business
1 Thess 4:11,12 11 and to make it YOUR aim to live quietly and to mind YOUR own business and work with YOUR hands, just as we ordered YOU ; 12 so that YOU may be walking decently as regards people outside and not be needing anything.
Especially a divorce attorney.
abr
did it ever.
we were at a breaking point when my hubby left the org. and then me following shortly thereafter. it's been a long hard struggle to find ourselves and then figure out the issues we had between us because of not really knowing how to have a healthy relationship.
we have had to learn to be real partners. not just follow our *christian* roles and that's it. we've had to learn to communicate. something that a lot of witnesses and other people who've been emotionally abused through their whole lives, have a challenge with.
my hubby described it perfectly the other day about how we've gotten through this....he said " I think you both have to be secure enough to let eachother have their freak out moments, and not take it personally." (or something to that effect) :)
after you get past that you have to see if what you have is still something you want to work on and preserve.
unfortunately I've seen so many marriages ruined because of the witness issues.
Accepting the way of the witnesses, is to ask for an unnatural relationship with a mate. The approch to marriage and religion is really backwards, the Bible plainly states that if you can love your borther, (wife), who you can see then you can love God. The witnesses keep that depth of love shollow in marriage putting Him first and not loving anyone enough to really give your life for them, being able to shun them is they are df or da. I call it light switch love, you can turn it off and on at any time.
No, if you can learn to love intensely and passionatly your wife or husband, then it will teach how to love God. That why there is so much love lost in the borg.
I can't begin to tell you all the damage that the elders did when they were attempting to "heal" our relationship - thankfully we both woke up and left!
we were at a breaking point when my hubby left the org. and then me following shortly thereafter. it's been a long hard struggle to find ourselves and then figure out the issues we had between us because of not really knowing how to have a healthy relationship.
Freedomlover - the only difference for me was that I didn't follow "shortly after." It took at least nine years after Clyde completely quit going to meetings, but he was fading for years before that. I'm simply amazed that we are still married and more amazed that we are now reasonably happy. (Actually, we did split at one point.) The only unhappiness now is that we don't feel secure in our future. We'd like to retire but can't (we just didn't prepare well enough).
****The only unhappiness now is that we don't feel secure in our future. We'd like to retire but can't (we just didn't prepare well enough). *****
(((((bonnie clyde))))
it is amazing to me sometimes what warped views on what love and marriage were supposed to be when I was a witness. I try to embrace the way we used to be and learn from it. we are starting over from where we are now.
My wife decided loyalty to the Governing Body was more important than loyalty to Jesus or her husband.
That was almost 4 years ago.
I suppose she still feels the same today but I really wouldn't know.
Yes, actual Jehovahs Witnessess with names. This is where accountability comes in. Individuals are responsible for sticking their nose and arse into other peoples business. It is a by product of the religion, but their choice to intentionally interfere is solely their own.
R's hubby
Did they hurt my marriage?
No, they helped to destroy it, instead of helping us to stay together.
They did this with a strong feeling of satisfaction and pride and hate for me.
It clearly showed in their faces and their comments.
Outoftheorg
