What do you tell your kids about God?

LovesDubs

My 11 year old son who is an old soul, is a scientist in his heart and waxes philosophically about the universe and its beginnings when most kids his age are playing PS2. He does that too of course but he spends a great deal of time thinking. He got into the car the other day and was quiet for awhile and then he said "Mom, would you be upset with me if I said I didnt believe there is a God?"

And without hesitating, I said to him "No honey I wouldnt be upset with you. You have the right to believe anything you want to believe and even tho I think there IS a God, because he gave YOU to me and I didnt do that on my own...dont let anybody else tell you what to think."

He proceeded to say that he believed in something akin to the big bang theory and also in evolution and that that made more sense to him than some God being over all things and arbitrarily saving this person and destroying that person and answering this prayer but not answering that one...and I told him that his thinking made sense.

He was sooooo relieved. I did suggest however that he not profer that opinion to his JW father if he didnt want to ellicit hours of JW rhetoric heaped upon him.

What do you tell your children now about your beliefs post JWs?

Scully

We've basically taken the same position as you, that everyone has to decide for themselves what to believe or not believe. We base our decisions on our life experiences and what makes sense to us as individuals. They know that I am atheist. They know their dad is agnostic.

The eldest expresses no belief in God or religion. He's in school, has lots of friends, a job and doesn't drink and drive. He plays sports and takes care of himself reasonably well for a young adult. He was 8 when we quit going to the KH. We explained to him that people can make big mistakes, and we felt that being JWs was a mistake. We apologized to him for exposing him to wrong information for such a long time.

Our middle kid has declared that she is "neutral on the God question". Quiet and introspective, she loves music - playing and composing - reading, writing, artistic expression and science.

The youngest is an atheist, a feminist, promotes animal rights and veganism, and does not let anyone get away with BSing her. She's bold, enjoys loud, obnoxious music for its "truth value"; she draws really neat stuff and writes incredible poetry. She's creative and passionate about her ideals.

They are all very thoughtful, generally polite, decent kids. We've taught them that it is important to be good citizens, regardless of their beliefs, so we see the way they express themselves as a product of their innate goodness. The two youngest are the kids we raised without exposing them to religion to their recollection (other than observing Christmas and Easter as "cultural" celebrations).

lonelysheep

I remember learning about evolution at the age of 11.

My kids are still young and haven't asked about God. I expect them to at some point. There's simply no need to discuss the subject in their athiest-agnostic household as of yet.

agapa37

everyone has to decide for themselves what to believe or not believe. (Kid's too?)

Kids, and I mean Kids not young adults should be trained to make the RIGHT decision from there parents. We cannot leave it up to kids to decide what is right for them, that is ridiculous! Parents are to Love and Guide their children. Tell them not to stick the fork into the electric socket (even though they decide for themselves that it would be fun) If we are trying to be Christians, (key words) Our Job BIBLICALLY is to train our Children in the mental regulating of Jehovah (GOD) We are to help them develope the mind of Christ.

Now once we have done that through their child years and then they become an adult out on their own, THEN and ONLY then will the decision be theirs. Train first, then allow for own decision when old enough.

Zico

Agapa, Do you mean indoctrinate them as children, so they're less likely to be in a position to make an informed choice when they're old enough?

DJK

Parents are to Love and Guide their children.

I can agree with that. Guidence and the craming of biblical beliefs down a childs throat so they can be tugged around and put on display are two different things. I don't agree with that!

LovesDubs

So if my children were born in the middle east it would be my job to ram the Koran down their throats? Or if they were born to me and I was a Jew that I should ram the beliefs of the Torah? As a parent I am to teach my children right from wrong and how to treat other human beings. That doesnt come from a book. I teach them to keep their minds open and to compare, search, investigate and learn about other cultures and beliefs and decide for themselves what spiritual path they want to take, if a spiritual need is in them. If they have questions, I answer them based on my own search. If they want to know what I believe...I tell them. But in the end it is their choice what they believe.

Why would I foist a belief system on them that they are unhappy with so that they can please me? That is unloving, and that is what the JWs do to us.

I dont believe in the Bible. To me its nothing more than a collection of writings of a male dominated society and has no more bearing on my life than any of the other "holy books" out there. I hope my kids read many books and ask many questions in their lives and never ever settle on anything because someone emotionally blackmails them into doing so.

Scully

agapa37:

Congratulations on taking my comments out of context!!

We've basically taken the same position as you, that everyone has to decide for themselves what to believe or not believe. We base our decisions on our life experiences and what makes sense to us as individuals. They know that I am atheist. They know their dad is agnostic.

Who said kids are required to make a decision while they are still kids? Not me. I have long suspected that I had atheist leanings (even while a practising JW, btw, and as a child) but it wasn't until my mid-to-late 30s that I felt that I had enough solid evidence to make an informed decision.

I never said or implied that my kids could believe in god or not now, and that they would have to live out the rest of their lives one way or the other. I think belief is something that evolves over time as a person grows and gains experience. To require someone to make a decision in childhood about what they believe in and hold them to it as an adult, just doesn't make sense to me. As a child, I once believed in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. As a child, I was taught to believe in demons and Satan the Devil and angels and Jehovah. I learned to differentiate reality from fantasy. Some beliefs took longer to disavow than others.

Part of our job as parents, imo, is to protect our children from harmful propaganda, teach them how to think (instead of what to think), and teach them to make ethical choices in life.

It's amusing how JWs expect their children to grow up to be JWs, without allowing them to research beyond WTS literature to make a truly informed decision on the matter. It's no different from Catholic parents expecing their children to grow up to be Catholics. It's the same "if it's good enough for the parents, it's good enough for the kids" mindset.

avidbiblereader

My 11 year old son who is an old soul, is a scientist in his heart and waxes philosophically about the universe and its beginnings when most kids his age are playing PS2.

Ironically my daughter was 11 when baptised, at this age who are they, what do they want out of life, do they really know much about serious things, should they really be making life altering descisions at this age? We have all changed since we were 21 or 30, how much more so an 11 year old!

I think we have seen plenty change from 11 until ___?, I would not get too bent out of shape, I am sure the more scientific information he reads his mind will naturally be inclined in this way, heck who knows, when he starts turning into a man and his hormones are raging, he may not have another thought about science or otherwise for a long time.

However the Bible says train up a boy according to the way and even later in life he will not turn aside from it.

abr

greendawn

The point with the dubs is that they have created a very negative image of god which many children eventually find disturbing as they grow up. They don't really present him as a loving god but put in sharp focus traits of vindictiveness, and him being short tempered and severe.

What do you tell your kids about God?

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