My sons went back, one because he believes, one because he's using the org

by rose petal 14 Replies latest social family

  • rose petal
    rose petal

    Hi, bit of a newbie. Found this site a couple of months ago, wonderful. My ex used the Borg as a means of control. He used to scream at me and the kids going to the meetings, then get out of the car as Mr Christian. I didn't want to be part of something that would allow that. I did a slow fade,which wasn't hard as most people were appalled at my ex's behaviour anyway. My sons were 16 and 13 when we finally split. My ex has used the org as backup. You just say a few of the right phrases and you're in. He's been df'd 3 times, I think.

    My eldest son went with him, and my youngest son eventually went with promises of a motorbike. He came back later. My eldest was quickly baptised, and just as quickly df'd. He followed his father in the cycle of abuse.

    My youngest I thought was doing fine, he got engaged at 18, a bit young, I thought. Then is was over, and he went into depression for a couple of years. Then to my shock and horror, he went back to the Borg, he hated sitting there quiet as a kid!

    I never heard from him until he had a vehicle accident. I found out he's living a suburb away. I went to see him, he was pleased to see me initially, but a second visit didn't go well. I wrote a letter explaining how I felt about the Borg, so I guess that's the end of that.

    My oldest just punched out my daughter in laws new partner. It was bargained down to common assault, we thought he was finally going to get his just desserts, but instead he played the religious card, and the case is dropped! He's going back to the meetings, this is the son that told me to f**k off, and similar wonderful comments. He's learning from his father.

    My point, (yes, I do have one!) is the cyclical nature of things. My youngest son will marry a virgin girl within the Borg, have kids, get sick of the hypocrisy and leave, his wife and kids will stay, and the cycle continues.

    My eldest will continue to play the Borg game as it suits him, like his father does.

    When can I do? Not much, I guess. But I'd like to try and save the youngest.

    Thanks, rose petal

  • Zico
    Zico

    Welcome to the board! Steve Hassan's book 'Combatting cult mind control' is meant to be good for teaching you how to help family members out of cults. Good luck.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Welcome to the board, Rose Petel! Did you get your name from the children's book by the name, "Rose Petal's Place?"

    I'm so sorry about your sons. Don't give up hope, chere. I was estranged from my kids for a while, but we're all making the connection now. Life will season them and hopefully, your sons will see their father and the org with opened eyes one day.

    Frannie

  • thecarpenter
    thecarpenter

    as newboy would say, Ahhh the love...

  • R6Laser
    R6Laser

    Well it sounds to me just like any normal problems that everyone in their family has. I've seen o many people, including neighbors go thru this and much worse. I don't see what the big deal is trying to blame those problems on religion. Wow, so you got yelled at. Welcome to a world were people yelling at each other is a common issue, not only that but also in most cases abuse either physical or emotional. I mean haven't you looked around at the world to see this? This is not the way to resolve things, but it happens. It just baffles me that everyday problems get blamed on religion. Another poster gave us his story growing up as a teenager, then having difficulties in High School because being shy, among other things. Wow, if I knew a single teenager not go and experience this I would be really surprised. Face it, there are tons of problems all around us and most of them don't involve the JWs.

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw
    Well it sounds to me just like any normal problems that everyone in their family has. I've seen o many people, including neighbors go thru this and much worse. I don't see what the big deal is trying to blame those problems on religion. Wow, so you got yelled at. Welcome to a world were people yelling at each other is a common issue, not only that but also in most cases abuse either physical or emotional. I mean haven't you looked around at the world to see this?

    WRONG, WRONG and WRONG again. The JW's are known for abusing children and spouses, women are second class, their wrong doings are continuously covered up, and they are notorious for breaking up families. Such Christians they are!!!

    I'm sorry you are going through this, but maybe you should just back off of your children (as hard as this may be) and give them room to discover this religion for what it really is. You dont have to take the abuse from them!!

    And if they try the shunning bit, shun them in return. They don't like it when they are shunned, doesn't give them the same feeling of control. Try it!

    nj

  • deeskis
    deeskis

    Welcome Rose Petal

    Sorry to hear about your sons, the mix of disfunctional families and JW's is a heartbreaking complication.

    Best wishes, hope you can be there for them when they need you, without it dragging you down

    D

  • juni
    juni

    Welcome rose petal to the forum.

    It's sad to read about this sort of thing going on, but hopefully the kids will wise up one day.

    I wish you peace.

    Juni

  • J-ex-W
    J-ex-W

    ((((((((((((((( rose petal ))))))))))))))))))

    I'm watching the beginnings, or early midpoint, of such a cycle myself.

    Oh, and welcome to the board!!

  • rose petal
    rose petal

    Hi again, sorry I haven't been back. My partner & I got a new computer, broadband, etc, these things never run smoothly!

    Thanks for the support. This is not a new thing that's happened. My eldest son & I haven't spoken for 2 years or more. He's that one that swore at me. That might be normal for some people, but it's not normal for me. Nor do I think it should be considered normal.

    I'll get that book "Combating Mind Control". I work in a library! My point was the cyclical nature of this mind control and abuse. I know my youngest will get sick of it, but as I said, by then, he'll have married a JW and have kids, then he'll see how hard it is to get out. My eldest will find another woman and abuse her, etc, etc.

    What I want to know - how to break the cycle! That's the million dollar question.

    PS I grow the biggest and best roses in Queensland, Australia. That's why I picked the name Rose Petal!

    I'll have to get a picture up and running and show you!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit