1st century Christians going door to door

by exwitless 3 Replies latest social humour

  • exwitless
    exwitless

    Just for laughs, I thought it would be funny to role play early Christians going door to door, using variations of terminology used by modern JWs. Feel free to add to it:

    Knock, knock.

    Greetings, oh good holder of this fine house. We cometh to you this fine morning to share with thee a message of good news. Doest thou agree we need good news, with such badness closing in on us each day? Why, it is heard that children are being thrown into the dens of lions. Women are forced to labor many hours each day, carrying water to and fro the well. Men who depend on the catching of fish for the caring of their families are finding mysterious tears in their nets. May I share a thought with you from this scroll printing called the "Tower From Which One Watches"? It's here in paragraph XII. (unrolls scroll, which falls to the feet of the householder.)

    Forgive me, fine scroll pedler. For as you can see, I have many children I must tend to, and whilst we have been talking, my leavened bread burneth in the cooking oven. Please, take thine scrolls elsewhere, for my husband is a fine scribe at the local synagogue, and he will no doubt become enraged that I have permitted thee to speak to me this fine morning. (slams door)

    (Publisher turns slowly and begins his walk back to his camel group who is waiting for him on the street.) Woe is me, who has not yet placed a single scroll today. Let us now refresh ourselves, for the hour is just before noon, and the time for a rest has arrived. Shall we go to McDaniel's?

    (OK, so this was funnier in my head. Maybe some of you wittier folks can add to it?)

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Exwitless,

    You did a fine job! I'm sure it was exactly as you put it. Please read an old thread of mine that has a humorous twist to it - it's where Freddie comments on how Paul might have gone door-to-door. Ray was stunned by his uncle's conclusion.

    www.jehovahs-witness.com/10/126568/1.ashx --- "Fred and Ray on Door-to-Door: the Truth"

    Coco

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Thanx I needed that.

  • onlycurious
    onlycurious

    This was written very well. Good job!

    I do have to say I get torked everytime I ready the work "Christian" in reference to jw's. It just doesn't fit for me.

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