How is Paradise treating you nowadays?

by AK - Jeff 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I just dawned on me that we must be in Paradise now!

    After all 1975 brought the end of the world, for which end we all sacrificed having children, careers, interesting work, hobbies and oral sex. I missed some of those things [some more than others], but in the end it was good to set foot in that New Earth, especially once we got the stench from the 6,000,000,000 dead behind us, and the shite off our 'newly inherited' luxury automobiles [those damndable carion birds].

    By now all the 'annointed' have surely died and gone to heaven, and I love having Tiger's and Lion's and Bears, oh my, in my backyard, while I munch on grapes and watch the brothers next door build a new house. [Gee I always wondered why they just didn't take that nice mansion out on Gates Road like I planned on doing after the pesky 'worldly people' got the bolt].

    Why, my new picket fence is made entirely of old church steeples [though some of them were a bit charred]. And since we don't eat animals anymore, and the earth is producing in abundance, I always have plenty of leftover lentil stew for my pet cheetah. [He looks a little ribby though and has been giving me the eye.]

    Last week we put the finishing touches on the new Theocratic Library of Indoctrination down the road. Since we destroyed all history books, the resurrected ones are truly enjoying the educational opportunities here locally. Hopefully they all get to go to Patterson within a few years to see where God's Holy Spirit directed things not long ago. The hardest part is telling them that, sadly, all the relatives are dead and bird-eaten, but thankfully for them, they got to die before Armageddon, and did not get judged for the wicked things they were doing then, like 'eating and drinking' instead of 'service and meetings'.

    One of the thrilling things we have done here is to gather all the literature we had on our shelves, and 'pretend' we are in service. SInce no one was ever home in our territory anyway, now that they are all dead, service had not changed all that much. Of course, we don't work the 'wealthy hoods' now, since most of the brotherhood lives there now. We never called on one another before the big A, why would we do it now?

    Still, life seems a little boring, since there is no false religion to bash, no commercialism to condemn, no crosses to fear, and even the demons are out of the way. [So those spooky nights telling stories about the demons just isn't as scary now.] But there is plenty of good hard work to do. Why our territory alone comprised 1500 square miles, and that is a helluva lot of mowing to keep up with, not to mention the trimming and the flowers, and the building work. I hear that the GB is now suggesting that perhaps the dinosaurs will be back soon to eat the vegetation..... God I hope so.... my back is killing me.

    Jeff

  • alamb
    alamb

    Thanks for the giggle.

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Here's some soon-to-arrive "new light" about Paradise:

    The January 1, 2036 Watchtower will contain a study article explaining the appropriate way to view the thousands who have abandoned Jehovah's organization in the previous year: Paragraph 20. It is unwise to associate with all those who have stumbled due to "new light" regarding the paradise earth. Such ones have shown that their motives for serving our God were selfish. They fail to appreciate that though some amongst Jehovah's people at one time entertained the hope of living forever in a paradise earth, a more spiritual perspective reveals that the Paradise is amongst us in the form of the bounteous spiritual provisions of the slave class. Due to their fleshly view of things, many such ones have become bitter because their expectations were not realized as they would have liked. Some made great sacrifices to promote their hope of enjoying physical healing and blessings in the paradise. Yet others were negligent with regards to planning for their financial security later in life, and caused themselves and others burdens due to their lack of foresight. They now resent the situation they find themselves in. Such ones do well to ask themselves,"Did I not do so willingly? Was I forced to do as I did?" Of course not! Their own strict manner of interpreting the well-intentioned counsel of the slave class, now numbering into the tens of thousands, is where the real fault lies. All who continue to appreciate the channel that Jehovah has used to feed his servants here on earth for the last 156 years have accepted the new understanding with great rejoicing. One excellent way they show their loyal support for true worship is by sending the appropriate tithe to the slave class. New and exciting ways to support the Kingdom with our valuable things will be considered in the next article.
  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    So, what are you saying, nvrgnbk? This is just a 'dream'? I have misinterpreted? Damn.

    Jeff

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Yes Jeff. Now you get it! Isn't it so much better to have the proper spiritual outlook on matters?

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff
    Yes Jeff. Now you get it! Isn't it so much better to have the proper spiritual outlook on matters?

    Thank you. It is indeed. So I best get rid of my cheetah, eh? Jeff

  • Brother Apostate
    Brother Apostate

    nvrgnbk,

    You could definitely be on the writing commitee!!

    Thanks to you and Jeff for the laugh!

    BA- Tears rolling down cheek from twisted humour!

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Last week we put the finishing touches on the new Theocratic Library of Indoctrination down the road. Since we destroyed all history books, the resurrected ones are truly enjoying the educational opportunities here locally. Hopefully they all get to go to Patterson within a few years to see where God's Holy Spirit directed things not long ago. The hardest part is telling them that, sadly, all the relatives are dead and bird-eaten, but thankfully for them, they got to die before Armageddon, and did not get judged for the wicked things they were doing then, like 'eating and drinking' instead of 'service and meetings'.

    This was undoubtedly my favorite part.

    Thanks,

    Nvr

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Brother A,

    How can you be sure I'm not? After all, this is cyberspace.

    Nvr

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff
    Brother A,

    How can you be sure I'm not? After all, this is cyberspace.

    Nvr

    I hope so. We like spiritual book fictionalists here. We all followed them around with our heads up our *sses for a long time before we came here.

    Jeff

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