This is what was said in part 1 of this thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/125918/1.ashx
So this guy I see occasionally at work (he's a traveling
representative and passes thru now and then) is really easy
to get along with, so we talk.
He married a girl who was studying with JW's. His mom is
a JW, but he used to study after he got married and
discontinued the study after a few months. His wife got
baptized less than a year after he married her. She had a
young child from a previous marriage, the coworker had a
baby with her recently.Anyway, to the point- He attends many meetings when he is
not traveling. He goes for her sake and helps with the kids.
He dresses in clean clothes, but hates to wear a tie, so he
would not. He asked me about it, because the elders have
been pulling him or his wife or both aside and encouraged him
to start studying again. When he declines, they ask him about
putting a tie on. He says they really tell his wife that he ought to
try harder to "fit in." He asked what I think of it all.I told him that I was having problems with this religion, but I would
answer his question in the spirit it came to me in. I said, "You are
not a Bible student, You are not a baptized brother. First, they
have no authority over you. Second, they should only be saying
positive things about how wonderful you are to come and help with
the kids. They should not have any counsel for you, or for your wife
about you. It's wrong."That was months ago. I saw him recently. He said her son wanted to
stop wearing a tie, because step-dad didn't. The brothers kept bothering
his wife about it, so my coworker caved in and is wearing the tie, now.
He says he misses more meetings, finding more excuses to not go.
I asked if he preferred going without the tie more often, or going with it
less often. He said there was more peace with the wife when he went
a bit more often, so now he's getting pressure to step up the meeting
attendance from the wife and the brothers.
Here's the update on this thread. The guy is going more often to the meetings,
claims it causes much grief from the wife if he is not at work, and doesn't go with
her. He has asked me for more advice. I gave him a copy of "Captives of a Concept"
because he had many questions about these being "God's representatives." He
enjoyed the book. He asked how to get the wife to read some anti-JW materials.
I read a suggestion on JWD that wouldn't work for me, but I suggested it for him.
The idea was that, as a non-JW, he can read what he wants, so he could get a
copy of CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE, and make a half-attempt to hide it, so that his
wife will find it. Well, he did this. He actually ordered a few books and items about
JW's. His wife did find the book, and started looking at it. He said she kept looking
at it for a couple of weeks.
Finally, she acted like she just noticed it. "What's this?"
"I'm trying to learn all I can about Jehovah's Witnesses."
She has been a witness for a short time, so she didn't know what to say, and said
nothing. He says a week later, she approached the subject again. (I said at this point, "Do
you suppose that she approached the elders and asked their opinion?" "OH YES!" was
his answer.) She said "It's a bad idea to read apostate materials." That's all she could say.
He asked her "What does that mean to you- Apostate?" She just knew that people who left
the JW's were apostates, nothing more. All he could say was, "Well, it seems like people
who left would have some things to say. A Governing Body member who left would know
quite a bit."
She also wants her son to join the Theocratic Ministry School. The husband answered her this
way- "He is struggling in school. I don't think he needs more pressure." That has worked for
now. He asked me what I think. I told him, "You're the step-dad, but you are the head of the
house. She's going to struggle with you on this one. You need to decide how firm you want to
stand on this. As long as you hold out, she's going to keep pressuring you on this."
So that's the update. Any more advice I should give him?