My Dad died on Friday (page 3)

JWdaughter

I am sorry for the loss of your dad. Even when parents are elderly, it is a great loss when they are gone. I get the sense that you held back from letting it all out before because of him-and only him. If the loss of all your old friends and aquaintances-the shunning-would not hurt you then there would be no reason to not let your secret out. You still have siblings in. And children that have family connections-I assume-since you still associate with your brothers at this point. You might want to reconsider for their sake. Although, if they are adults and out of the org., I don't think they can be anything but mildly embarrassed about the notoriety. In that case-go for it. If you care about your bros., you might want to rethink. You've been around, and you know you really have to weigh your personal/family priorities here. If you hesitate because adult children don't like the idea. . .well, parents and children embarrass each other a lot sometimes. It's not like you are going on Jerry Springer or marrying your sister. Do what YOU need to do if you won't be harming anyone else. If you will be, consider the degree and if it is harm or just embarrassment. Good luck!

As others said, hold off for 6-12 months on making any decision-longer if it isn't killing you being considered a JW. No need to rush into anything that is irretrievable. After a death we are vulnerable, and question our decisions-and others will also question your motivations and emotional stability. So give it time.

Again, sorry for your loss. Your dad must have been awesome if he is the reason you kept it quiet until now. I know, as do many, that there are many JWs with great integrity-even if they are confused and it is sometimes misplaced. We have all been there, right???:)

Shelly

troubled mind

Dear Mike , You have my deepest sympathy on the death of your father . I hope you will not make any decisions on this matter until you have allowed some time to pass. Telling all at this time may cost you family relationships .....is that what you want ? You probably think you're going to be able to open others eyes with your new found revelations ...the truth is unless they are ready to ask the hard questions themselves it will all be wasted . Just remember how you thought when you were in .....if someone came to you with questionings of the organization would you really have listened ..or ..rather would you have just rationalized why they must be wrong . I think it would be good to have everything written down though... just in case someone of your family or friends starts asking you for reasons. Those asking may already be on the road of discovery themselves . Recently my witness mother passed away . I feel more free now to speak my mind . However, I have also learned this hard lesson : My neice was fading and fed up with the local congregation so I thought she might be ready to hear some real truth . When I was honest with her about my reasons for leaving it shook her so much she went running back to activity ! There are none so blind as those who will not see . good luck in whatever you decide

Merry Magdalene

alt

My condolences on your loss. You seem like a kind and thoughtful person and I'm sorry you are faced with choices you may not be able to feel entirely good about either way. Definitely don't rush your decision. When the time is right and the choice is right I pray you will know it and find peace through it.

~Merry

helncon

Sorry about your dad passing away

choosing life

So sorry for the loss of your father. I think you need to take some time to decide whether to send your story to everyone. When you are in the throes of deep sorrow is not a good time to make decisions. It was kind of you to want to spare your father any grief.

Take your time and know that whatever you decide, you left for the right reasons and not for selfish ones.

GoingGoingGone

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I agree with those who say to wait, especially since your kids are against it. You can't take it back once it's sent.

I don't know that you will get too many to read it, though, if they're 'faithful dubs'..... Even if they do, logic rarely works until people are ready for it. While they are still caught in the mind control, that's what will take over. They'll send themselves straight back to 'Mother'.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

GGG

bonnzo

i won't tell you what to do, but i'm really sorry about your dad passing. i lost my dad 8 years ago. he was a long time elder with a fine reputation. i miss him to this day.

Xena

I'm sorry to hear about your father.

I also agree with others who say you might want to give yourself some time before you do anything.

zagor

Mike,
I'm really sorry to hear about your father passing away. By the sound of it he was truly a natural leader and would have succeeded in anything else had he taken up an interest. If it was anything else, politics, sport, even other religions his life would have been celebrated by those he helped and left behind but not so much in this cult.

I'm not going to tell you what to do with that story because by the sound of it you are not sure yourself (sometimes there are no easy answers because any path you chose in the end can hurt you unfortunately). But I would surely like to read it if you ever decide to share it.

Odrade

mike, I am so sorry about your father. I tend to agree with willyloman and others who say to wait. You are grieving right now, not only for what you lost Friday, but for what you lost when you left the organization, and for the things you will never have now - like your father looking at you with clear, non-indoctrinated eyes and understanding why you are no longer JW.

Wait 6 months. You can always send it, but you can't un-send it. The letter, and the former friends, will still be there to communicate or not, as you choose, after you have processed the death of your father. I hope you and your family have needed rest and solace.

My Dad died on Friday

Share this