Those Three Words "I love you"

by Thinking of Leaving 34 Replies latest social relationships

  • alotlikemay
    alotlikemay

    I think you just have to go by instinct

    difficult business though - it's the horror stories that put you off, like someone I know was asking us all only a few weeks ago the same question cos she really really loves this guy

    don't know if she ever did but within two days of her saying she really wanted to tell him she loves him, he'd emailed to say it was all over...

    the fear is fear of loss of pride isn't it... if you can say it and not mind if it's not returned then go for it, I guess

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Yes it makes no difference who says it first as long as it is not a shallow unreal statement. That means the couple should be pretty sure that they are compatible and can start a stable relationship. Then those words make good sense.

  • Thinking of Leaving
    Thinking of Leaving

    so what if I say it and he do doesn't say it backI would be so embarassedand hurt too

    although I get the feeling he does love me

    I'll just waitthanks everyone for the input

  • avidbiblereader
    avidbiblereader

    If it doesn't come from the heart of EITHER PERSON does it matter who says it first or not?

    abr

  • daystar
    daystar

    so what if I say it and he do doesn't say it back I would be so embarassed and hurt too

    although I get the feeling he does love me

    I'll just wait thanks everyone for the input

    I think you have a problem. You lack confidence and self-esteem. You are also way too afraid of not being loved back. I also don't think you really even know what love is, to be even asking these questions.

    You need to say what you feel and what you mean. If you don't get a response, so what? You love him? Let him know. Don't be so selfish, expecting a response necessarily back. Don't expect love back when you give it. Give love freely and without expectation.

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    TGIF to you too!

    I wouldn't worry about who should say what first I would worry more about confusing love with lust. True love takes time and shouldn't be rushed into.

    Could not have said it better myself. Personally I think the phrase gets splashed around a little too much. I love flip flops and ice tea...but you don't see me getting all crazy about it. That being said, I used to think the other person had to say it first. Only because some men can be kind of flakey when you throw down the "love" word. I find the older I get the less it matters to me who says it when. When the time is right, it works itself out and will be expressed genuinely when it needs to be. Worrying about who says it and when seems rather counter productive to me now.

  • babygirl75
    babygirl75
    sorry...almost lost it there for a second

    Elsewhere....You must be a lonely miserable person!! Sorry you don't have someone to love you.... I hate that other people's love makes you vomit a little bit in your mouth..Don't give up, maybe one day you too can find true love!!

  • Thinking of Leaving
    Thinking of Leaving

    Don't be so judgemental Daystar, you know nothing about me or my past relationships.

    Thanks anyhow

  • funkyderek
    funkyderek

    If you feel it - really feel it - you won't be able to stop yourself saying it. Don't worry if the other person doesn't respond as you'd hoped. Even if they do, you won't know if they mean it or are just saying it to be polite.

  • daystar
    daystar

    Don't be so judgemental Daystar, you know nothing about me or my past relationships.

    You're right, I don't. But it's very obvious that you have some degree of problem with low self-esteem, etc. if you're so worried about who says "I love you" first and are so afraid of being the first one and not hearing it back.

    I calls 'em like I sees 'em. And I reserve the right to judge as I see fit. Just trying to help. I think you need to get a pair.

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