Children

LittleToe

On Children

”Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you,
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows might go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so he loves the bow that is stable."

http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibran4.html

LittleToe

I'm about to acquire one when I remarry in May, and hope to have this text in the wedding ceremony

I wanted to post it because I notice that there are currently quite a few threads and posts on the subject of the hurt felt by childrens' actions. It seems like wise words to me.

purplesofa

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you,

Having five kids.........I love this statement.

I have learned so much from them, it's amazing.

purps

Crumpet

Just to share a recent experience: my best friend from school, Tracey, got married back home in December. She has a son who is now 13, whose dad since he remarried has failed to live up to any of his fatherly responsibilities even failing to send birthday cards. Well I managed to stay tearless (if not dry eyed) through out the ceremony but at the dinner I read the card that this boy had written to accompany the present to his mum. I got as far as "Dear mum and dad, I love you very much" and promptly started crying and passing the card round to the other heard hearted girl folk at the table we all ended up crying. Only his mother and new dad seemed totally unsurprised and just pleased and proud of their boy.

I hope your new family is a very very happy one my friend and brother. x

SixofNine

Nice poem Ross, especially good ideas for a step-daddy ;).

The basic concepts most people parent by are deeply, deeply flawed; most people never even consider the absolute most important concept to raising a healthy human: first, do no harm.

Cordelia

why u talking about children????

mouthy

That is beautiful LT How old is the one you will be inheriting?????

Sirona

sorry it is this is cordella

restrangled

LT, that is a beautiful statement, but does not address when they weaken and need their parents. It just happened tonight to us. Our son came home needing support.

.....Support friends could never give him. I will not go into details, but his parents were the people he ran to, to get support. As always we were happy to provide anything we could.

Keep this in mind as you recite your vows.

r.

Brother Apostate

Nice quotation, LT!

Preparing children for adulthood is challenging. It is human nature to want to spoil our own, yet in the teen years parents must:

-begin to slowly wean them off of being provided for, and help them learn to provide.

-begin to slowly wean them off of dependancy, and help them learn to be independant.

-begin to slowly wean them off of comfortable surroundings, and help them learn to explore.

-begin to slowly wean them off of having decisions made for them, and help them learn to make decisions.

While at the same time not losing their childlike playfullness, curiousity, and respect.

No one handles the transition without friction, spoling feels good but yields hurtful results; mental discipline and a love of learning are good things to instill.

BA- My two cents

PS- By far, that's not the whole picture, just reflections.

Children

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