OUTLAW, I'm calling PETA! LOL
Or, maybe you could give your penguins totally free access to that box of cigars, and they could run around and clear off your driveway?
carmel, maybe you just need to run down south a bit, and finish off the good old Sitka. I bet CZ (or is it Weyerhauser?), or maybe even Emmert, would haul that big old log away and lay it in the stream (is it the Little Nehalem that runs past there?).