Freedom

sweet pea

What a rollercoaster the last couple of days has been. Having been prompted gently and lovingly by husband 'Besty' I have examined my faith, sorry the organisation, and finally realised that he has been right all along in his reservations. I feel all sorts of emotions, mainly happiness at finally feeling free - no more meetings (i never could see why we had to attend 3 a week and always felt stressed about taking the babies along when they should be in bed! and not to mention the many mind-numbing talks), no more assemblies (same stress involved in getting ready with two young ones), no more ministry, being able to celebrate birthdays (yippee! - something that's always bothered me, i always hated being different at school and not being included), being able to freely associate with lovely 'worldly' people who are so much more interesting than your average 'witness', no more feeling guilty that I'm not doing enough/don't believe all the policies and doctrines (blood transfusions/Cedar Point Ohio/Disfellowshipping/the list is endless) , being able to move anywhere in the country/world without worrying about whether there's a decent congregation there (yes i know that's probably a weird one but some of you out there may identify with that), etc etc. But I do feel sad, confused and angry at what happens next - how do I reconcile/deal with my closest friends - I want them to understand why I feel this way and what I have found out (great website www.jwfacts.com and this one of course) but I don't want to be branded an 'apostate' (another thing i've always felt uncomfortable with the loaded language) and i certainly don't want them to never speak to me again for the rest of my life (how cruel a belief for a controlling organisation to teach). Someone gave me the advice that I had to play the game and be very careful (obviously to avoid being DF/DA) but this doesn't sit right with me - I feel a need to be honest. I also don't want my friends to be fooled anymore by the organisation but I don't want to be responsible for them possibly having nervous breakdowns/crisis of faith and all their friends and family never talking to them again - HELP! So, where am I now - probably won't ever attend a meeting again and am celebrating my sons birthday this week with a few worldly friends (how wonderful is that for my little one - he will never know the pain of being different and being excluded...). I look forward to hearing from some of you and would love your advice on the best way to take things forward...... Cheers!

Stealth453

Welcome sweet pea.

And....welcome to freedom. It is a wonderful place to be.

Peace

LittleToe

Welcome to the Board

How you play the game might depend on your family ties. Either way you are likely to lose most of your JW "friends", through neglect or shunning. It is often possible to maintain some of the family relationships, however, when folks fade.

Being brutally honest with people is not what people usually want, no matter how much they might claim so. They would rathher live in a cocoon of their own imagination.

You have reached an exciting time - plan your next few steps carefully, rather than allow yourself to be overtaken by exhuberance. But most of all, enjoy your newfound freedom

ex-nj-jw

Welcome SweatPea,

You very well my loose most of your friends and family depending on how devout they are. I still have family in and for the most part we keep in touch. Sometimes I wish they would just shunn me and make my life easier, I really hate hearing about " the end is just around the corner, you don't have much time to get back in Jah's good graces"

Anyway, enjoy the holidays, and especially the little ones b-days!!!

Tell him happy bday from me

nj

dedpoet

Hi sweet pea, welcome to the forum and to fredom.

As others have said, it is possible that you will lose many of your jw friends, and you also may be labelled an apostate.

Actually, being labelled thus isn't as bad as the watchtower makes it out to be. The dictionary definition of an apostate shows it to be merely someone who has abandoned a previously-held religious or even political belief, which makes many jws apostates, as many have left other religions to become jws.

I get called an apostate by jws quite often via email, and tend to respond in kind. It's really nothing to worry about

Trev

garybuss

I celebrate with your family! Congratulations!

helenrose

Hello SweetPea I am new to this board myself and your's is the first post I have read. I left in 1994 or so and haven't ever looked back. My 2 kids left with me, they were 15 and 2 at the time and even though their father was an elder (he still is lololololol) I was being held responsible for their spiritual wellbeing. as far as losing friends that still are JW's the question you need to ask yourself is do I still want them as friends? they have some very odd ideas Anyway as a way of a short intro my name is Helenrose, I was known to people as Cookie when I was a witness. (Decided to use my real name after turning 40.. Cookie sounded like an old stripper) I was a "model" mother used to pioneer my husband was an elder by all accounts the perfect family till I get fed up with the bs. and decided enough is enough I'm done, this was after 17 yrs or so. Nice to be here Glad I was browsing the web. Oh I have never searched for ex-JW's before now. Kynd Regards Helenrose

helenrose

sorry about the error in my post my kids were 12 and 15 (not 2 and 15) they are now 27 and 24.

ex-nj-jw

Welcome to JWD helenrose!!!

nj

Clam

SweetPea - great news and welcome to the real world. Surely there's no rush to consider how you're going to extract yourself from the cult or how you're going to deal with the relationships you have within the Hall? Take plenty of time to consider your future and tread very carefully with your JW friends.

HelenRose welcome to the Forum!

Power to the newbies,

Clam

Freedom

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