Is Fading a DF Offense?

besty

Wife Sweet Pea and I are just starting the 2nd phase of our fade, which as we are already inactive and at 50% meeting attendance, means stopping going altogether.

Supposing the elders decide they want to make a shepherding call - which we naturally decline - could they announce us as 'no longer known as JW's' for declining the call, not being at meetings and being inactive?

What if we did take the shepherding call and told the elders we just weren't coming back, with no specific reasons given? They would be bound to ask if we still believed the FDS doctrine, which we could ~~lie about~~ use theocratic warfare strategy and say we were just a bit depressed, with money worries, struggling with the routine etc and would probably be back soon.

Thoughts?

sir82

They shouldn't make any announcement just because you are inactive or decline a shepherding call.

Just continue to decline their shepherding efforts - tell them you're "depressed" or "ill" or "too busy" or whatever, and you'll contact them when you want help. Be firm.

After a while they should just leave you alone.

undercover

Fading, in and of itself, is not a DFing offense.

If you were to express your doubts or thoughts in a way that could be construed as "apostacy", whether to elders or other JWs, and the elders are a hardnosed bunch, they could potentially DF you for apostacy, if they wished to pursue the matter and attempted to force you to commit one way or the other.

There are some here who can tell you horror stories about how they just were not allowed to quietly leave while others of us have had virtually no contact with elders after dropping off attendance at meetings and quitting service.

Most here will advise not meeting with them at all. Avoid them, avoid their questions. They will give up in time, because most elders aren't industrious enough to keep bothering with it.

Crumpet

So long as you do not say under any circumstances you dont believe any of it anymore as that would be DAing yourself. I believe if you say you dont wish to attend anymore they can call that DAing and announce it to, because I believe that this might have happened to me first time round only I was only 16 and didnt understand the fine print, but there were some confusing stories afterwards which i never got to the bottom of.

Tread carefully. Tell them nothing.

And I am thrilled to bits that you and your wife and your kiddies can go on the rest of your journey together - so much better than going it alone!

blondie

Ditto, what sir82 said. You can't be df'd for just declining a shepherding call. I would just screen my calls and not talk to them at all and not answer the door when they just drop by. I suppose if you still go to some meetings they might ask...but just avoid the "backroom."

BTW, missing meetings is not a df'ing offense either.

Develop a form of deafness. If they ask a question you don't want to answer and can't avoid by leaving, just change the subject to something like the weather and then leave.

Blondie (fader--attends no meetings or conventions/assemblies or funerals/weddings)

bluebell

No its not a df offense nor is not talking to them - keep avoiding them

Carmel

Don't lie! Theocratic warfare is lowering yourself to their level. c

sass_my_frass

Hey well done! Use your instincts; you know your elders and what their reactions would be. Any hardliners? If you have a real bloodhound in there he'll find a way to get you out if you give him a chance. Otherwise you should be just fine - that's the point of a fade!

How are things going with any JW family?

How about JW friends? Are you doing okay, letting them go?

Umm... be careful who you trust! A successful fade requires a smokescreen.

Is Fading a DF Offense?

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