Spilled the beans yesterday. Told her I was never going to another meeting again. Knew it wouldn't be too hard going as she's always had a few doubts herself, what I didn't appreciate was just how many she had and how hard she was finding it as she is developing a great social life with 'wordly' friends!! However, she is is in a very warm and loving congregation with great elders. Also she feels that i) Jehovah is using the BORG to accomplish some things, even though imperfect and ii) they've taught her everything she knows and iii) the BORG has done a lot of good and iv) its given her stability in life. She has convinced me that what you've all been saying about keeping a low profile and fading rather than going all out on the distributing of a DA letter would be the way to go for me so that's what I have decided to do - she feels that you can't just destroy people's faith without there being something to help them cope with the aftermath. As she left her parting words were, "who knows, maybe I'll join you one day". And if she ever reads this post and recognises me - I LOVE YOU MUM WITH ALL MY HEART, YOU'RE A WONDERFUL PERSON WHO DESERVES AN INCREDIBLE LIFE WITHOUT THE WBTS. Just my father and Besty's family to tell now......
Had The Chat With My Mother
by sweet pea 15 Replies latest jw friends
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Freedom Fighter
Wow - way to go Sweet Pea! Glad everything went well for you - here's to moving forward without the Watchtower!
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EnlightenedMind
Wow, I'm glad that everything went well for you with your mother. She seems to have a relatively open mind about it. If only everyone's relatives were so understanding... Good luck with your dad and the rest!
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jakes
Good on you Sweet Pea! I still have to cross that bridge with my Dad.
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Crumpet
That is fantastic news! Waves to Mother Sweetpea warmly in case she ever drops in to explore her doubts further!
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jaguarbass
. She has convinced me that what you've all been saying about keeping a low profile and fading rather than going all out on the distributing of a DA letter would be the way to go for me so that's what I have decided to do - she feels that you can't just destroy people's faith without there being something to help them cope with the aftermath
Both points make sense to me and are the route I chose. I've been out since 83 and can still associate with witnoid friends and family when I want plus I get to celebrate x-mass and all the holidays and take blood transfusions.
My mother, brother and sister wrote the disassocaiating letters and the are out cast. Kind of. It worked out well for them also, as they were not trying to protect any relationships.
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dawg
Read the many posts from folks trying to get out; that are too scared and then please explain how fading is the right thing to do... I say tell people like it is, the more we can save from this cult the better and they're many just hanging on becasue of fear, a fear that may be calmed if more take a stand.
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ex-nj-jw
Good for you sweatpea, maybe there is hope for mom!!
nj
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Highlander
she feels that you can't just destroy people's faith without there being something to help them cope with the aftermath.
That's pretty much the situation with my wife. In her eyes I don't offer any alternative that appears better to what she has.(I'm an athiest). However I do offer honesty.
Your mom's point is valid in my opinion.
I'm happy that you are able to have such an open and successful conversation with her.
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garybuss
Hope it all works out in a good way. I've noticed that there's often an aftershock after an earthquake. Sometimes several. One thing I've seen time and time again is Witness relatives at first agree to keep communication and association going . . . and all is fine until the elders hear or see and then they try their best to stop it.
That's part of the reason we see Witness relatives turn their decency on and off, on and off again.
I've seen so many Witnesses fade or walk away thinking they had done a good job of leaving the door open to a rational relationship with Witness relatives only to have it go upside down on them in a few months (or a few years, in some cases) due to threats and pressure on the relatives by the elders.
I wished I'd have had a plan "B". I labored under the delusion that blood was thicker than Watch Tower Society loyalty and I was wrong. I made the mistake of thinking that because I liked someone, that meant they had character. I was wrong. I made the mistake of thinking my brother was my friend. Wrong!
I labored under so many delusions it's a wonder I made my way through life at all. Everything I had been taught at home, at the Kingdom Hall, and in school was wrong. The only thing right was the multiplication tables. The assumptions I made about most of my Witness relatives was wrong.