Am I in some sort of phase? (page 2)

Inquisitor

Nope. No one has croaked on me recently, thankfully. So it's definitely not post-traumatic stress manifesting itself. Though what you guys have said made me realize that I have just concluded one significant stage of my life (I'm a fader so i tread no further). Neither does it have anything to do with distinguishing JWs from mainstream Christianity. Though I must say calling JWism "a Judaic religion masquerading as Christianity" is rather fitting!

I have been obsessed with JW issues and subsequently anti-JW issues for at least 2 years now. I would have thought that my fever would be gone by now. Instead it has recently intensified. For instance, I've just finished reading Rubenstein's "When Jesus Became God". Don't get me wrong. It's easy to follow, it's not ridiculously thick. And it has such a rich narrative of early church history. But at the end, I wondered to myself "How many people my age would bother with the early development of the Trinity doctrine? How many actively contemplate the debate both online and in hardcopy?

Is this a symptom of my brush with high-control religious group?

Am I (over-?)compensating for my past exploitation?

I talk about religion with friends (those who can stomach such a heavy topic), I get excited about documentaries featuring fundamentalism. Prior to Rubenstein's book, I've been reading "Honk if you're Jesus", "Misquoting Jesus", "The Gospel of Judas", etc.

It's been 2 years!!! And I can't let go.

Do I want to let go? Not really. But is this healthy?? Is anything amiss not being able "to snap out of it"?

Moving on to me could never be "just snapping out" but reading again, from an ever changing perspective. - Narkissos

INQ

Inquisitor

anewme,

thanks for your hakuna matata advice! lol

But really, God isn't even an incentive for me at this stage. So I most certainly am not doing all this feverish compensating for His sake.

INQ

Inquisitor

Guilt?

How does that fit into the picture, Bridge? I'd love to know more.

INQ

OnTheWayOut

I am at a different stage, but also obsessed with things about JW's and why they are WRONG!!!!!!!!!!

It is mainly a personal obsession, because in my fade I just don't confront the elders or anybody in
the Borg Beliefs. I have all this ammunition ready to gun down the doctrine, and when given the chance
to start shooting, I don't do it. I want to do it, but I refrain.

As far as going through a phase, I actually want to pass beyond my obsession- perhaps soon.
I think we are talking about the same thing, just your current passion for things Christian is a different
level.

Inquisitor

KW13,

i often saw myself as a kind of drug addict coming off the harder stuff, needing something to replace my addiction till i got rid of my habit. the need to pursue religious topics and even talk about being an ex-jw is a phase.

If indeed what I am experiencing can be likened to withdrawal symptoms in an addict, shouldn't I be actively trying to stop behaving this way? Stop reading and watching all this comparative religious stuff etc?

INQ

LisaRose

When I no longer belived in "The Truth", I felt it as a loss. I lost a framework that expained the world and the bad things in the world and made me confortable with it all. I greived for that loss and wondered if there was another religion that could replace it. I didn't find any other religion, and now I am reconciled to that. I developed my own spiritual self and grew as a person, and now I don't need fairytales to make me happy. It was a growth process that took about 5 years. If you enjoy your research, I see no reason to stop it, but realize that your spiritual self may not find a home in organized religion.

"The kiss of the sun for pardon, the laugh of the flowers for mirth, one is nearer to God in a garden than anywhere else on earth"

Carmel

I think it is perfectly normal to try and understand what the world is all about and investigation begins with familiar territory. I spend several years researching different denominations of Christianity before slipping my big toe into other world religions. Lo and behold, they were wet too! You'll likely find your appetite will wane for as a former dupe for the dubs, you'll see the hypocracy in others as well. My personal journey led me to conclude that christianty had spend itself and no longer held the answers to the complex society that we live in. It has been surpassed by other faiths, science and modern humanistic aspirations. Once you've exhausted your christianity trip, you may be ready to look beyond that sand box and explore the rest of the world. just my nickle's worth... carmel

Inquisitor

Hey thank you all for your replies and your well-wishes!

I hope that, like some of you have already implied, time will resolve what I can't figure out myself at this stage.

INQ

Am I in some sort of phase?

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