I Had Coffee With Sausage Lucy This Morning.

by Englishman 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Further to my post about how JW Lucy told the local police that husband Ray tried to murder her with poisoned sausages and later confessed that it was all a lie, I have today sat in Lucy's kitchen drinking her coffee.

    Earlier, Ray sheepishly told me that he had gone back to Lucy and had forgiven her for accusing him of attempted murder. He also said that he thought part of the problem was that they weren't getting enough sleep because of a leaking gutter outside their bedroom window, would my little company fix it for them?

    So, today, I set off with my big ladders and duly rectified the problem. I caught a few glimpses of Lucy wafting around in her dressing gown through the window, but I didn't try to speak to her because I didn't know if she knew that I was DF'd, and I wasn't going to risk a snub from her, ye gods, no!

    Whilst I was loading my ladders onto my vehicle, out came Lucy. Would I like some coffee? OK, yes please 1 sugar, light on the milk says I.

    Now came the psychological dance as we made conversation. Did I know **** she asked, er, no I replied. How about****? Nope again. I could see that she was wondering if I was actually "THAT MH" who was so wicked, so in the end I said that my Dad used to be her PO. Bingo!

    Now this where it got really strange. She didn't cut me dead or ask me to leave, instead she asked me about several more people that we might both know who were still active JW's. When I replied in the affirmative she said that she didn't think that those people were properly "In the truth" because they didn't behave in a manner that was fitting for Jehovahs people! I had just taken a mouthful of coffee and was desperately trying not to choke with mirth as this JW lady who had falsely accuseed her husband of attempted murder only a few days earlier, now sat all demure and righteous criticising the conduct of her fellow dubs!

    I refrained from winding her up, I haven't been paid yet, but she smiled at me warmly with a big "I think that you must be misunderstood you seem like a really nice person to me" sort of smile and said that she was looking forward to seeing me again.

    Oh yes, one mitigating factor, she did say that she was half Italian......

    Englishman.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Hmm,

    Was it a see-through night-gown that she was wearing? Beware of bored house-wives Eman!!

  • think41self
    think41self

    Eman,

    That woman sounds seriously mentally disturbed. And you had the cajones to actually "drink" her coffee? If someone had even mentioned the word poison, I wouldn't have drank anything they had. And should you be peeking through windows at ladies in nighties? Even if they ARE crazy ladies? What would her ladyship say?

    think41self

    "Not believing is not the same as not knowing."

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    T41,

    I do seem to be attracting some pretty nutty people of late I suppose. It was just curiosity that made me stay, as for peeking through the window, you can't do much else when you are stood on a window sill facing inwards. Anyway, why was she walking around in her frillies when she knew I was at the window?

    Must be the Greek god physique!

    Englishman.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Now don't worry about the lady in the nightie. Poor, poor old Eman is so shortsighted he has to feel for the glass in the pub!

    Cheers,
    Ozzie

    "It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
    Anonymous

  • expatbrit
    expatbrit

    Phew! I reckon she figures your sausage has less poison, mate!

    Half Italian, and parading around in her frillies in front of you. Definitely after someone to banger. (Sorry)

    Expatbrit

  • mommy
    mommy

    Trying to get rid of her hubby, frilly nightie, voyerist, and with a name like Sausage Lucy...sounds more like a porn star than anything else Enjoy Eman...she sounds like fun!
    wendy

    Blind faith can justify anything.~Richard Dawkins

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Actually, she resembles a squat mushroom.

    Englishman.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    A what?

    You're so poetic, Eman!

    But what the heck is a 'squat' mushroom? What does it look like?

    The mind boggles.

    Cheers,
    Ozzie

    "It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
    Anonymous

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Squat mushroom?

    You were dreaming of your breakfast, again, mate .

    Bangers, mushrooms, bacon and eggs, all swilled down with a nice cup of charlie.

    LT

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