When the "honeymoon" is over....will previous doubts be revisited later?

whyizit

I have been studying a lot about mind control. I understand that while someone is in the "honeymoon" phase of being recruited in to a group, it is very unlikely that they will leave.

My JW friend is still in that stage. She has not yet been baptised, so the love-bombing is still very intoxicating to her. We recently discussed how the 607 BC date doesn't add up, and she actually agreed that she thought they were a couple of years off, but dismissed it as "close enough". The point I am getting at, is she did the math and found the error herself. Yet, she is still enamoured with the group and is jumping in deeper all the time.

If she goes ahead with her indoctrinazation process and becomes baptized, with my understanding being that it is shortly after baptism that the "honeymoon" is over, then how long do you think it will take before she starts to become disillusioned with the WTS? Do you think the points that have been made previous to her commitment to the group will start to weigh on her mind? That she may want to revisit them with me when disillusion starts to take hold?

I am trying to figure out how to recognize when the disillusionment starts to occur. I have sensed it in the past, but it was more toward a person in the group, rather than with the WTS as a whole. Any ideas on how to tell when this is happening? What reaction should I have? Just a listening ear, or more food for thought? I don't want to drive her away.

Thanks for advice!

truthsetsonefree

Do you think the points that have been made previous to her commitment to the group will start to weigh on her mind? That she may want to revisit them with me when disillusion starts to take hold?

I am not an expert since my honeymoon phase lasted decades. But I will say that the above is probably your best hope. It is why I still talk with my JW "friends." Because how does one ignore the kind, non-judgmental advice of a trusted friend once the emotional bond between a person and the Borg is undermined by all of the failed prophecies and other BS that we are so familiar with?

tsof

zeroday

I have been studying a lot about mind control. I understand that while someone is in the "honeymoon" phase of being recruited in to a group, it is very unlikely that they will leave.

Once the mind control phase is complete it will be extremely difficult for her to leave. When one stops thinking for themselves and turns all reason over to someone else there is no longer reason to question anything. It took me 28 years...

reneeisorym

Its too late once then honeymoon phase is over. That's when the thinking stops and the guilt takes over.

cyberdyne systems 101

I've never thought of a honeymoon period, but your right now i think back. Unfortunately the post wedding (baptism) can last many years , just as in any abusive relationship - the partner tells you that your not good enough, deals with you badly and then says that they are the only one who can love you. So as with any controlling relationship, it can take a long time for someone to break free.

CS 101

DJK

My father must have gone through the honeymoon period you speak of. That was fifty years ago and he's still a dub.

carla

I think the honeymoon phase is different for everybody but once they are baptized it's all over. They hand their brain over and time with you will gradually fade. They will not understand why you have a problem with their abandonment or will pass it off as you being filled with satan just trying to take them away from the 'truth'. When they feel like that they are 'real' dub! They too have finally suffered the persecution all jw's must face. A little closer to worthy now.

sspo

The honeymoon may never be over once she is in it. If she has realized that 607/1914 is not right and continues to move on with it, it shows that she is truly enjoying what she sees and what she learns.

She is mostly likely getting a lot of love and attention and getting many answers from the bible, if she gets baptized and is very active in the "truth" and makes many friends, she might truly love it and everything else will not be important to her.

When i got baptized more than 30 years, i could see that the JW's did not have all the answers, never beleived fully the explanation of the book of Revelation but it did not matter to me because i kept on looking at the unity and love in the congr.

Many of my friends and even daughters know that the religion is not perfect and the teaching might be screwed up but they really don't care because they enjoy the friends they have locally and all over the world and they feel there is nothing better. .

In my case, as I said it's been more than 30 years, i know the "truth" is just another religion but so far i have not been able to pull away yet due to friends and family even though i feel liberated, not being deceived by the Governing Body

and all the crap they dispense at the proper time.

garybuss

I think how long a new recruit stays an active Witness depends on history, environment, and personality type.

History: The motive lies in the history. The most likely to leave the group are from the "raised in" group. Those are also most likely to be ping-pong Witnesses. Cultural background is a big element. Some nationalities and cultures value family more than others. High control groups are often a haven rather than a destination.

Environment: The sustenance lies in the environment. I know several Witnesses who are escape Witnesses. That is, they are Witnesses to get away from something or someone in their environment. One woman I know of is only a Witness when her husband is in town. When he works away from home for months at a time, she does not associate at all with the Witnesses, but returns to zealous activity as soon as he returns home.

Personality: The compatibility lies in the personality. Some people have a compliant personality and like being told what to believe and how to behave. Some have a social issue, either anxiety, or extremely shy. People of this type are often comfortable in an arranged group like the Witnesses.

I've known many converts as well as members raised as Witnesses who have been life long members. Many experience several social setbacks and disconfirmations such as the 1975 and "generation" disappointments, and stay as active members. More than a few actually struggling in life due to the sacrifices made to comply with group required guidelines such as employment, education, and medical care, but stay.

Usually the honeymoon lasts 3 years, but I've seen it last 8 to 12 years. Many find a groove and kind of disappear into the routine and activity. I wouldn't hold out any hope at all for anybody to leave. If anybody important to me joined up with the Witnesses, I'd grieve the loss and move on.

dedpoet

Personally, my honeymoon period lasted around 7 years, from being baptised
in 1992 until I began to research the watchtower doctrines independently of their
publications in 1999, saw through the deceit, and walked away. For some, the
honeymoon period lasts a lot longer, maybe even the rest of their lives.

The thing that initially attracts a lot of people to cults like the jws is that they
provide instant friends, instant family and, most importantly, instant purpose in
life. Also, those who go through the jw study programme and get baptised are
made to feel special. Unlike many cults, where one can be indoctrinated in a
matter of weeks, it takes time and effort to become a jw, and I guess that the
longer the potential convert spends studying with them, the more likely they are
become a fully-fledged jw.

Once that has happened, the only way out is if they become disillusioned by
all the new rules and regulations imposed on them that they knew nothing
about pre-baptism, or if, like myself and several others I know, something
happens that causes them to investigate the things they have been taught,
and research the watchtower teachings independently. Once a jw goes down
that route, it is fairly easy to see through the man-made nature of the jws
beliefs of course. The trick is getting them to do the research in the first place.

dedpoet

When the "honeymoon" is over....will previous doubts be revisited later?

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