by Thinking of Leaving 17 Replies latest social relationships
Hi Everyone, the guy I'm currently dating suffers from Social Phobia and it's beginning to affect our relationship. Does anyone have any experience dealing with this?
Yes (edit to add: my ex-husband)...and it only gets worse when left untreated. It is by no means a quick fix, and adding the JW element seriously intensifies the problem--for the sufferer as well as for anyone in close relationship to him.
You may want to go to a psychologist session with him so you can learn how to help.
I know a few people with social anxiety and I personally suffer from anxiety myself, just a different form of it.
Recommending a good cousellor is a start. They can give him exercises to do to help him face his fears. It all begins in the mind and can be rather crippling. What seems to happen is when certain thoughts are repeated, it will begin to effect the person physically as well as their life responses.
You can be a good friend to him and walk with him as he goes through therapy. He is going to need you. Remember, his fears are REAL to him. It's quite humbling to have to see a mental health specialist but he really should see someone.
Life is meant to be lived!!!
A word of caution, try to stay away from meds if possible. For me personally, I figured I would have to renew my mind to be set free from myself and my thoughts. The meds can just be a crutch (although, there are many who NEED the meds because of brain chemistry imbalances) I'm just saying to try it without the meds first.
Blessings to you on your journey.
My boyfriend is not a JW and am now DF. He grew up with an abusive father and was always shy as a child. His fear is so severe that he dreads going to the doctor, dentist or any other health professional. He won't even make a phone call to a strange person to get information over the telephone. We went to a wedding and he met my mother the first time and freaked out because she asked him a few questions. Just making small talk with him and it went sour. I bought him a book on Social Phobia which he hasn't read as yet because he said he's scared to. Scared to learn more about his illness. When I read that book it described him to a T. He has a severe form of this illness and I'm afraid it's beginning to affect our relationship. I find him distant and unwilling to talk about his feelings or his illness. He's now 41. I care for him a lot, but it's taking every bit of strength I have right now. I suggested to him to attend a group support, I'm not sure what he thinks of this as he hasn't told me as yet.
Baby steps would be my recommendation.
You say I think you should go to a therapist. He thinks, I have to call a stranger, I have to go to a strange place, I don't know what to say, I can't do this ......
instead
Try, if I find a therapist that will meet with both of us and come to your house would you meet with him. That is only 1 step for him. Still a big step but much less to tackle.
FreeFromWTBS ------
GREAT Advice! I imagine there are some very qualified individuals who handle this sort of thing that would be willing to come to his home for therapy.
If it helps any, I do have a friend who suffered from breast cancer and then became so anxious about her illness that she refused to go outside. Her children would travel for HOURS and HOURS to see her and she would refuse to come out of her room. It was 4 years of hell but she is free. She really helped me a lot when I was having anxiety. The key is, people can get better but it takes a person who is willing to do so.
I suffered form social anxiety for years and didn't know what it was. Tell him first to pray Psalm 23. And to declare that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind, through Christ Jesus. He's just being attacked with the spirit. He may also need an anti-anxiety med like Zoloft or Effexor XR. I now, after about 4 years, only take Xanax as I need it. If I know i am going to be in a social situation where i know i won't be comfortable. The last thing he needs is for you to give up on him. Make sure you talk to him and are honest about your feelings. I pray that all goes well with him. email me to let me know how it goes [email protected]
sorry email address is [email protected]
