by AK - Jeff 16 Replies latest social humour
A blonde is grieved over her husbands illicit affairs.
She goes to the gunshop and purchases a pistol. On arriving home she finds her husband making love with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun from her purse, and puts it to her own temple.
The husband cries out "Honey don't do this. I will reform and be a better husband. It is not worth killing yourself over."
The Blonde looks at him and states " Shut up, you cheater. You're next."
LMAO cause now i get it ( yep, i be a blond )
More proof we need stricter gun laws, can you imagine her stabbing herself to death and then him.
oh boy....
Today's Blonde Joke [present company accepted]
is this irony
or are you blonde
heh, heh ...
My boss sent me that one the other day........okay, normally I don't pass the dumb blonde jokes on, but this one is funny:
A blonde woman is speeding down the highway and is pulled over by a female blonde cop who saunters up to her car:
"Can I see your drivers license please?"
The woman fishes out a small compact mirror and hands it to the cop who looks at it and says:
"Why didn't you tell me you were a fellow officer?"
LOL!!!
So this blonde gets pulled over by a state trooper on I-95.
"Lady, do you know how fast you were going?"
"Yes, I was under the speed limit."
"The speed limit is 65 MPH. I clocked you at 90."
"But the signs say 95 (She points to an I-95 sign). I was 5 MPH under that."
The puzzled officer thinks for a moment, then starts laughing.
"Those are not Speed Limit signs. Those tell you what highway you are on."
The officer leans in and sees the other blonde passenger. She's got a terrified look on
her face. "What's wrong with you?"
"We just left the bypass highway, I-295."
I'm blond myself, but I love the blond jokes.
Maybe it is because I don't really understand them...? ;-)
Had a few laying around to share with you:
Let me start with the best one I've ever heard:
<http://funhouse.bubble.ro/462/World_s_DUMBEST_Blonde_Locked_Herself_Inside_the_Car/>
==============
Blonde knitter
==============
While cruising the Interstate, the state trooper passed a blond knitting
while driving.
The Trooper decided to stop the blonde driver and rolled down his
passenger side window. He pulled up beside the blond driver and shouted
"Pull Over" !!!
The distraught blonde looked, and said, Nah, duh, just a scarf...
====================
Emergency Repair Kit
====================
Josh was helping Sally, the blonde, clean out the trunk of her car.
Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit". Looking at it a
little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside.
Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for.
She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit."
Josh said, "I can see that, but why?"
Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires."
==================
Mother passed away
==================
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss,
concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically,
"What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies....."Early this morning I got a phone call
saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl.
"Why don't you go home for the day.....we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off
to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly states......" No, I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual...."If you need anything,
just let me know."
Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He
looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes
out to her, asking, "What's so bad now........are you gonna be ok??"
"No......" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She
told me that HER mom died too!!"
=============
Green Side Up
=============
One day a woman decided to have all the rooms in her house painted, so she
called a painter to come over and give her an estimate on how much it
would cost. The painter arrived, and the woman brought him into the dining
room.
"What color would you like this room painted?" he asked.
"Green," the woman replied. The painter nodded and wrote something down on
his notepad. Then he went over to the nearest open window and yelled out,
"Green side up!"
The woman thought this was odd but continued on to the kitchen.
"What color would you like this room painted?" he asked.
"Yellow," the woman replied. Again, the man nodded, wrote something down
on his notepad, and went over to the nearest open window.
"Green side up!" he yelled.
The woman was puzzled, but figured that he was a professional, so she
shouldn't question him. The whole tour continued like this; the woman
becoming more & more suspicious each room they went through that the
painter leaned out the open window and yelled, "Green side up!"
Finally they were finished and the woman couldn't stand it any longer. She
asked the painter,
" Why did you yell 'Green side up' out the window every time I told you
what color I wanted the rooms painted? I don't want every room painted
green!" The painter laughed.
"I know. I wrote down the colors you wanted your rooms to be painted. But
I had to keep yelling 'Green side up' out the windows because I have a
crew of blondes across the street laying sod."
========
K-9 unit
========
The police department, famous for it's superior K-9 unit, was somewhat
taken aback by a recent incident. Returning home from work, a blonde was
shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the
police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit
patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I
come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police
for help, and what do they do? They send a BLIND policeman!"
funny smiles from
kifoy
Two blondes..They are are the opposite banks of a river..One blonde yells to the other:"How do I get to the other side?"..The second blonde yells back:"Your already on the other side!.....LOL!!...OUTLAW
