So very true Swalker!
WHILE STILL A WITNESS, DID YOU POSTPONE YOUR LIFE UNTIL THE NEW ORDER?
by nvrgnbk 36 Replies latest jw friends
-
Brother Apostate
To some degree, yes. But I managed to somehow live a double life in many ways. I did not buy the bullshit 100%, I always entertained my doubts, which were many. In many ways, then, as well as now, the plaque behind this this statue expresses my feelings:
-
skeptic1914
AMEN B.A.
Skeptic1914
-
Finally-Free
I never had kids, and it's too late now.
W
-
nvrgnbk
I'm so sorry about that Finally-Free!
You and your bird have helped me alot. Thanks.
Take care,
Nvr
-
Alpaca
Swalker, Thanks for starting this thread. One of the most ironic things for me concerns love. JWs think they have a monopoly on genuine love and yet it was all of the "worldly" people in my life who really showed unconditional love. My Grandmother, my Father, my loving Aunt's and Uncles, and loving friends of all the adults in my life continued giving me birthday cards and presents, Christmas cards and presents, and doing kind things for me even though I rarely reciprocated. They accepted my beliefs but never stopped showing love in the ways they knew how to. I postponed showing love in ways that I now wish I had. Many of those people have passed on and there is no way to go back and undo any of the selfish JW behavior. Of course, there are all of the other sacrifices--education, no children, countless hours of service over 25+ years, and on and on and on....... Cheers and toast to all of us who have seen the light and taken a stand for truly living!!!! Love to all, Alpaca
-
R.Crusoe
Being middle aged and void of happy memories. What life?
The religion lives like a parasite in your family feeding on happiness!
-
nvrgnbk
Being middle aged and void of happy memories. What life?
The religion lives like a parasite in your family feeding on happiness!
Thanks R. Crusoe! Your pwerful comment reminded me of the lyrics of a song I'm liking alot at the moment. I've posted them before, but I think you may identify with them.
Intervention by Arcade Fire :
The king’s taken back the thrown
The useless seed is sewn
Then they say they’re cutting off the phone
We'll tell them we’re not home
No place to hide
You’re fighting as a solider on their side
You’re still a soldier in your minds
But nothing's on the line
Say it’s money that we need
As if there were only mouths to feed
And knowing no matter what you say
There’s some debts you’ll never pay
Working for the church while your family dies
They take what they give you and they keep it inside
Every spark of friendship and love
Will die without a home
Hear the soldier groan
Or go at it alone
I can taste the fear
Lift me up and take me out of here
Don’t want to fight, don’t want to die
Just want to hear you cry
Who’s going to throw the very first stone?
Oh, who’s going to reset the bone?
Walking with your head in a sling
Want to hear the soldier sing
Working for the church while my family dies
Your little baby sister’s going lose her mind
Every spark of friendship and love
Will die without a home
Hear the soldier groan
We’ll go at it alone
I can taste you fear
It’s going to lift you up and take you out of here
And the bone shall never heal
And I cannot make you kneel
We can’t find you now
But they’re going to get their money back somehow
And when you finally disappear
Will they say you were never here?
You’re working for the church while your life falls apart
Singing, “Hallelujah,” with the fear in your heart
Every spark of friendship and love
Will die without a home
Hear the soldier groan
We’ll go at it alone
Hear the soldier groan
We’ll go at it aloneNvr
-
anewme
Yes. I was only 17, fresh, sweet, talented, hearing this lie for the first time. I was alone and approached at my new school. I knew no one and this JW pioneer girl saw her victim.
I was ripped away from my family home and spent the next 35 years cloistered away in the Watchtower prison.
I cleaned the toilets of my town and kept a hovel's roof over my head for ten lonely years until I married at 28 a JW man terribly disabled in an accident. I then moved in with him to care for him until Armageddon.
He and I did not have a normal marriage as you can imagine. I was his caretaker more than wife. So no children would ever come forth from this marriage.
We attended meetings, service, assemblies and conventions and doctors offices and emergency rooms for the next 20 years until I began to suffer terribly after the death of my father many regrets.
I felt very alone. My husband was focusing more and more of his attention on his health and the congregation while I was retreating more and more into depression and isolation.
The unhealthy situation came to an ugly peak on 9/11/2001
I moved out the next day with no idea where to go or what to do with my wasted life.
Very disillusioned, I tried some sin to see what it was all about.
I called the elders afterwards to confess to wrongdoing, all the while going to meetings.
They dfd me and I left in bewilderment.
My life which used to be so busy and hard and full of loneliness and tears and regret as a witness, is now a true study in peace and quiet and serenity.
Yes, I wasted many years of my life being in the Watchtower prison, but I am making up for it all now relishing and basking in the warm sunshine when I can find it and laughing with friends when I find myself in their good company. The musical career, the many children I might have had, the trips I might have taken, the fame I might have enjoyed.......are all a possibility in another life time.
Anewme -
nvrgnbk
I'm so sorry anewme! I'm so glad you've been able to move on and enjoy life once again.
Nvr