First, my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your Father-in-Law.
That life has to have a purpose otherwise this is all a big waste of time. But then we could just be someones ant farm and death is final and everlasting. Where can a person find comfort anymore?
Life is a journey. We each decide what is real, and what is an illusion. Take in knowledge. learn, think, ponder. Test your concepts and conclusions. Keep an open mind.
BA
PS- There are many more eloquent than me who have written poems and sayings that touch me when I feel as you do now. I will let them speak:
One of my favorites:
Ithaca
When you start on your journey to Ithaca,
Then pray that that road is long,
Full of adventure, full of knowledge,
Do not fear the Lestrygonians
And the Cyclops and the angry Poseidon.
You will never meet such as these on your path,
If your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
Emotion touches your body and your spirit,
If your soul does not raise them up before you.
Then pray that the road is long,
That the summer mornings are many,
That you will enter ports seen for the first time
With such pleasure, with such joy!
Stop at Phoenician markets,
And purchase fine merchandise,
Mother-of-pearl and corals, amber and ebony,
And pleasurable perfumes of all kinds,
Visit hosts of Egyptian cities,
To learn and learn from those who have knowledge.
Always keep Ithaca fixed in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for long years;
And even to anchor at the isle when you are old,
Rich with all that you have gained along the way,
Not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have taken the road.
But she has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not defrauded you.
With the great wisdom you have gained, with so much experience,
You must surely have understood by then what Ithacas mean
-C.P. Cavafy
More words of wisdom:
When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. ~Seneca
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. ~Henry David Thoreau
Alice came to a fork in the road. "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head. ~Terry Josephson
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. ~James Thurber
We become aware of the void as we fill it. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
We are spirits clad in veils. ~Christopher P. Cranch
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe. ~John Muir, My First Summer in the Sierra, 1911
One does what one is; one becomes what one does. ~Robert von Musil, Kleine Prosa
Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought. ~Matsuo Basho
"All of us necessarily hold many casual opinions that are ludicrously wrong simply because life is far too short for us to think through even a small fraction of the topics that we come across." ~ Julian Simon, Professor of Business Administration (1932-1998)
"Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain." ~Helen Keller, Blind and deaf writer and educator (1880 - 1968 )