Mind fog is a good way to explain life in general for anyone taking up the burden of JW faith. It sticks to you like a leach and sucks on many a situation you find yourself in. Having left one congregation, it raises questions about the whole organisation no doubt? Since they consider themselves 'at one' , an essence I sought and tried to be part of but never found, even in my own wife, it begs the question whether in reality they are what they're all sitting down studying to be? I'd love to say I saw it but I didn't! Even at Conventions a theme of discipline and mistrust always cut through the atmosphere. It beats up your heart and makes you into a lesser, weaker person than you were before with some sad consequences in many a case. One guy I knew who knew he was dying but had never got baptised spoke of how he felt hurt that such lovely people got spoken down to via the material they constantly studied and was preached - never allowing trust to feature long enough before more discipline was being preached. I knew what he meant and I'd put my soul into something which would take it away from me - along with my family ultimately, much less enrich me as a human being. It sounded so right but leaves me with a complete regret!
I wonder how you continue to explain to yourself your position in a united faith which isn't united in the hearts of it's followers and how you'll find anything you can believe in to the extent of a faith which demands absolute conviction? You're headed for strange territory cowboy and I hope you find a happy meaningful era for the next part of your life that you've been a prisoner from. You may find you've already been institutionalised!