I’ve found that I have just about reached my tolerance level for anxiety. The family stuff has pushed me way up there, and every three months I get exams, plus I’m doing job interviews because I’m rather over my stupid little job. I’m finding myself losing my nut sometimes because I can’t get rid of it and just blow out, eg:
A few weeks ago I was doing some advanced SCUBA training involving going inside sunken wrecks and finding our way out in difficult circumstances; eg, blindness through low visibility, failed torch or lost mask. I’m 30m underwater, inside a wreck, leading my blinded buddy out, very low on air, and probably quite nitrogen narcotic. I’ve pulled him through a corridor and am nearly out a hatch into a larger area when he gets stuck on some cabling and I can’t go back in to untangle him without getting stuck in the small space myself, and can’t reach him from outside. I have the worst pure white panic for ten seconds when I scream with anger and fear, possibly spitting out my air regulator and swallowing a lot of water (the memory is pretty hazy). When either he or the instructor sorts him out and we clear him out, I abandon our dive plan and lead him out the way we came in, he puts his mask back on and we surface. Basically, it was a very ugly situation; I panicked because I knew that within minutes we’d be in real danger and there was nothing I could do. The point is that I panicked so badly. A few weeks later I’m still having some kind of reaction to this event and keep reliving it; it might be a trauma that I’m having a little PTSD reaction to.
For a start I should have realised that this kind of stress is outside my capacity at this time and opted out of the blind part of the course, but I’m interested in any ideas and suggestions that people have re dealing with anxiety, when a situation comes up. I actually went to a counsellor last week to try to start dealing with the family situation. She is fresh out of uni and all a bit Psych 101 which wasn’t very useful, and really only suggested some breathing exercises. So, what do people do to be calm?