Do you ever feel that the elders were your friends? (page 2)

Hortensia

well I thought they were friends while I was a JW. Thought they were close friends, in fact. However when I stopped going to meetings only one of them ever followed up to see what happened to me, and he just wanted to guilt me because, as he said, I was his wife's best friend and now she didn't have any friends. Some friend - she never tried to see what happened to me, nor did anyone else. What is it one of you always says? "Can you feel the love?"

OnTheWayOut

As an elder who quit, I was pretty sure that the body of elders would torpedo my
fade. They still might, but if they do, it's only because "Mother" tells them to.
These guys have given me my space. They don't want to DF me. I really am
bitter at the organization, but the elders are just as trapped as everyone else.
They can be good friends, and they are just trying to do their job.

The problem is that they will do as directed. They will almost always choose loyalty
to the organization over confidentiality if you tell them something, or someone
tells them something.

The other problem is that they should see the problems. If they don't see enough
to leave the Borg, they should see enough to see the shortcomings of the elder
arrangement.

Personal feelings: Did you see the movie "Hair" ? At the end, the main character
wants to help the soldier see his girl, so even though he's totally against the military,
the main character cuts off his prized hair and switches places with the soldier.
The troops get called to pull out right away, and they can't switch back. The main
character doesn't betray his soldier friend's leaving the post. He bravely goes to
Viet Nam as the soldier, since he has agreed to switch places with him. Of course,
he dies.

That was me as an elder. I knew something was wrong, but I felt like I had agreed to
be this good elder. In reality, I was a different person, without the training to be in
this place. I assumed a responsibility that I thought I could handle. I did the best I
could, as I promised. But I died in that position. I just couldn't keep doing that.
Fortunately, dying there doesn't mean being dead. It is the start of a real life.

restrangled

NEVER!

Crooked Lumpy Vessel

and he just wanted to guilt me because, as he said, I was his wife's best friend and now she didn't have any friends.

It amazes me how our friendship was defined only by meeting attendance and field service. When I was unbaptized and I stopped going to the hall I always had phone calls and visits and guilt trips. After I was baptized and I stopped attending I did not get one visit. Not even a shepherding call. It's all about counting time.

My nephew got married and within 6 months his wife was cheating on him with a guy from work. He asked the elders for a sister to come visit and help her back on the straight and narrow. But since his wife was already baptized and no one could count the time, their were zero volunteers.

But to your original post...I met some cruel and mean elders and others were nice. But I do remember one in particular (Schwangler) that had a heart of gold.

Madame Quixote

Good lord, no. Now, I know there's a problem with protecting pedophiles in that org, but I don't suppose every elder is a ped.

I was 15 and female when I left the bOrg, so, NO, I definitely NEVER felt or thought or dreamt the elders were my friends.

They were old farts to me (even the young'uns) in starchy shirts; STUFFED SUITS, is the term; NOT friends, especially if you're a female of any age. If the elders were your friends, something must have been terribly, terribly wrong . . . wrong .... wrong .. .. weirdoes? No way!

nvrgnbk

As an ex-elder, I can say there are good and bad. To quote BrentR there are some genuine a$$holes. OTOH, there are some sincere and kind as well.

Nvr

skycaptain

NEVER EVER , they only contact you if they can count the time ,thank god there not doctors just think the amount of sick untreated folk would be about.

OUTLAW

Even the nice ones will cut your throat..Make no mistake...OUTLAW

sass_my_frass

When I was growing up and a good little witnoid, I liked the elders in that cong. Of course, they were the guys disfellowshipping all my friends, and I didn't actually ever talk to them, but they were somehow all alpha males; cool, smart, funny, at least I thought so at the time, not knowing any actually genuinely cool, smart and funny guys. I guess I looked up to them.

HAAAAA ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaa

sspo

I can truly say in every congr. i've been in, they were truly friends and always there to help.

It helped being an elder for 21 years and fully involved in every activity in the cong.

You usually get back what you put in. If you are a humble publisher and or even worst a weak one you will be neglected and never made to feel you are part of the congregation

The elder job, done with proper motives is usually done out of love for the brothers since there is no paycheck.

Of course as we all know there is the power hungry elder and also many jerks and idiots that don't know their left from their right and have no love for the friends but are robots for the GB.

Do you ever feel that the elders were your friends?

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